What will you find in Haunt The Zoo’s “Wall-of-Weird?”

Now that I’m a responsible 40-year-old dad with a six-month-old teething daughter, I’m not currently allowed to enjoy any wild and wacky festivities for Halloween, but if I could, I’d obviously put on a Ferengi Edmondson costume and hit up “Haunt the Zoo: All Grown Up” – a 21-and-up Halloween bash at the picnic grounds by Zoo Lake.

According to my calculations, the Zoo had already sold 80% of available tickets, and for good reason. In addition to food trucks and COOP – two staples for any popular Oklahoma event – they’ll have a bunch of Halloween style activities, such as…

The event will also feature grown-up versions of classic games, including Wall-of-Weird, Tinker Federal Credit Union Fishin’ for Treasures and COOP Ring Toss. Guests will also enjoy music curated by an on-site DJ, spook-tacular prizes, an epic take-home trick-or-treat bag, a spooky tour through the “Haunted Herpetarium” and more! Net proceeds from the event will fund the OKC Zoo’s ongoing education and conservation programs.

Outside of the Haunted Herpetarium – a place that gives Kevin Durant and Dean Blevins nightmares – the main thing that caught my attention was the Wall-of-Weird. Basically, they have this big spooky wall. It has holes in it. You stick in your hand in a hole, and as is usually the case when you stick your hand in a hole, you find something weird. How weird? Here are a few items you may find…

Zoo-Poo-A-Matics

This is basically a regular Mold-A-Matic animal, but instead of using molded plastic, the main ingredient is Zoo Poo. It’s a readily available compost made with fresh, herbivorous excrement left by OKC Zoo animals. There’s no word on if the Zoo-Poo-A-Matics also smell like burned plastic.

Mold-A-Squash

This came up in our photo archive when I searched for Mold-A-Matics. Why were we writing about moldy squash? Who knows, which I guess is why it belongs in the Wall-of-Weird.

Joe Exotic “Tiger King” Premium Condom

If you’re one of the lucky kids who already has one, you already know the Joe Exotic “Tiger King” Premium Condom is guaranteed to make the tiger inside you roar.

100.5 The Katt Calendar

When I first saw this record on Ebay, I thought “Sweet! Sound Warehouse has re-opened.” But then I realized this is from the 1980s, and every track isn’t Cumbersome.

Robo Niner Baseball Card

Back in the 1990s, kids would go to minor league baseball games at the fairgrounds and hang out with a robotic baseball, before fighting to the death over foul baseballs that landed on a grassy hill. That’s weird, and therefore, a Robo Niner baseball card would be fitting Wall-of-Weird prize.

The Lost Ogle Ink Pens

They’re the weirdest ink pens in OKC.

Although I doubt I’ll be able to make it out, this amazing article has already made me reconsider. Either way, if you’re still looking for fun ways to celebrate Halloween, check out Haunt The Zoo: All Grown Up. Tell them The Lost Ogle sent you.

Disclaimer: The Zoo is a TLO Advertiser, and we love them for it.