TLO Weekend News Recap

It’s cold and miserable, OU’s defense sux, and the daylight hours are very limited. It’s easy to get depressed, but hey- Russell Westbrook just had twins, and Thanksgiving is this week. Get your turkey brining and start mixing up that pie crust, but first check out some headlines:

This Week In Zaniness

This is the craziest local news story of the week. We’ve got so much to break down here, and we’ll start with the alleged ‘bad decision:’

According to police, it started when the victim went to a strip club at 3 a.m.

I didn’t even know that we had strip clubs open that late, so obviously there are no good decisions happening next…

An hour later, he met up with a dancer he met there at 24-hour restaurant, Mama Lou’s. It was there that the two med Trites and Tullis, who had a jeep the male victim liked.

Yeah, if you’ve ever been to Mama Lou’s after midnight, it’s probably only halfway through the litany of bad decisions you’re going to make that night. I don’t want to spoil the rest of the story, but it involves male nudity, cocaine, and Moore.

Mary’s Done

Don’t quit yet, Mary. We think you have a couple of other gaffes and screw ups left in you.

Shifting Demographics

Without having to read this paywall story, the headline tells it all. It’s not just a problem with Oklahoma media, but journalists across the nation. They’re shocked when people who are not white, male, or under 70 are elected to office. I’m going to assume that by the end of the article, it pre-emptively blames millenials and minorities for the death of Del Rancho, but I spent the money on an avocado toast and a molotov cocktail instead.

More OKC Airport Development

If you love flying with Delta (this is a loaded question), than why wouldn’t you be excited that they’re building a $61.9 million concourse onto Will Rogers World Airport? Look, any improvements to our airport are much appreciated, but last time I flew with Delta, it seemed like a mere step above Delta. Still, anybody that is willing to transport us out of Oklahoma can’t be that much of a bad guy…

We’re Building School Murder Shelters

Although they’re billed as ‘storm shelters,’ it’s pretty clear that they are designed to keep children safe during a mass shooting. That’s all well and good, but doesn’t quite address the problem at stake *AHEM* GUNS *AHEM*. Sorry, I’ve had this sinus infection lately. Anyways, this will be helpful in protecting our next generation from tornadoes and *HACK HACK SNIFF* LAX FIREARM LAWS *ACK* in the near future.

-Steven’s Sports Beat

The Bedlam loss was not a let down for the Pokes, who overcame a late 10 point deficit to knock off a Top 10-ranked WV and former Cowboy assistant coach. It also made them bowl eligible, with their 6th win of the season. This must have been the reason the fans stormed the field after the game. Why else would a team that expects to win every game have such a Bush League reaction to winning the final home game of the 2018 season?

Sooners don’t forget, and they earn grade-A trolls. No matter who you root for, this internet fodder makes for some entertaining reading. Warning: If you work in a quiet office setting be careful. I may have snorted a few times while reading the banter. Seriously, any other bet would have been great on odds of OU not hitting 10 regular season wins with a QB that had not started a game in three years. But a bet is a bet, so bon appétit. I hope you own a small breed.

The Thunder continue their rollercoaster 2018-2019 season. Even without Westbrook playing, this does not bode well for the league thus far. Let’s hope the Wesbrooks have a nanny (or three) to help with the bundles of joy, because one newborn is exhausting. It has to be exponentially worse with Scorpio twins.