6 reasons Reba McEntire should be considered the patron saint of Oklahoma

Last week, in celebration of her upcoming honor at the Kennedy Center, The Washington Post published a massive profile that celebrated the life of Oklahoma’s original pride and joy, Reba McEntire.

In today’s world, it should be considered a miracle that a woman’s music career, let alone hair color, can survive across four decades, so I don’t think a measly presidential award is nearly a high enough honor for our lady.

Here are 6 reasons Reba McEntire should be considered the patron saint of Oklahoma.

She embodies Oklahoma

She was born in our state. She is a country star. She is a former barrel racer. As seen when battling the sandworms in the movie Tremors, she thinks AR-15s will solve all her problems. Unless she was dipped in ranch dressing and got the Sooner Schooner tattooed on her thigh, Reba couldn’t be more Oklahoman.

She’s inspirational

From taking care of the poor or animals, to making explosives or writing jokes, patron saints’ lives tell stories that aim to inspire believers to do great things. However, the Blessed Mother Reba inspires by assuring us that anyone can make it through a perm or bangs phase and get their lives back on track.

She takes on other forms

As history has shown us, saints and other holy people take on the form of other objects or people in order to visit followers of the faith and issue warnings or assurances of the future. St. Michael appeared as a dazzling light to warn his followers of danger. Reba appeared as Colonel Sanders to bless us with KFC’s new Smoky BBQ chicken. Need I say more?

She’s Christian

So typically, saints are associated with some flavor of Christianity. So a patron saint of Oklahoma theoretically has to be a God-fearing, righteous living, 2-dozen-decorative-crosses-in-my-living-room kind of fella. Well from her inspirational gospel album, to her clothing line that features women’s shirts that adorn breasts with a reminder that the wearer believes Jesus died on the cross for your sins, Reba has filled her life with the love of the good lord.

She’d make a great baptismal saint

In some faiths when children are baptized, their parents or godparents give them a Christened name, which is often shared with a saint. This is in hopes that the children will grow up to embody the purity and goodness associated with the livelihood of the saint which they are named after. I don’t know if anyone’s been baptized as “Reba,” but Reba McEntire is one of the most popular drag queen personas in America. So she is already inspiring hundreds to embody her own purity and goodness.

She brings people together

An important role of every patron saint is to be a beacon of hope and joy that people from many, if not all, walks of life can turn to. This is a job made for our Blessed Mother Reba. For who else can inspire both the rednecks, the Christians, and the gays to live a fulfilling, honky tonk, and beautiful life? Unless Tim Tebow comes out as bisexual or Lady Gaga gets an F250, the only person who can do this is Reba.

Hayley’s dad tried to name her Fancy. But then mom found out the song is about a prostitute. Follow Hayley on twitter @squirrellygeek