TLO Weekend News Recap

If you’re a good Oklahoman, you watched that Garth Brooks live concert special on CBS. It’s 2018, and Garth is still huge enough of a star to sell out any venue across the world, and get prime time live performances broadcasted on a major television network. He’s the top-selling act of the last 20 years, the only artist to achieve seven Diamond Awards, and damnit, he’s ours. The show did involve leprechauns with confetti cannons, however, so maybe he’s spent some time with Wayne? Either way, it was a great show, and if someone wants to spot me tickets for the next time he plays in OKC, holla atchaboi.

It’s Porch Cam Season

One of local news’ mainstays in recent months is the ‘This metro couple had their Amazon packages stolen from their porch!’ story. It’s sometime followed by the “Amazon Delivery Driver is trying to destroy packages” story.” Now that it’s Christmas season, expect at least one of these in your feed every day (us included).  I’ll be more interested when the story is that the thief stole the doorbell cam.

The Oklahoman Op-Ed Is Hitting New Lows

This deserves an entire breakdown on its own, which I’m sure Patrick will do, but in summary, we’ve gotta admit that it’s pretty impressive how The Oklahoman is absolutely sabotaging itself. Staff writers will interject on Twitter and say things like this:

But in this era, especially when we have so many options for where we consume media, editorial slant DOES matter. Ten articles of good reporting can be negated by one dumbheaded and uninformed op-ed, because that’s where you see the true intentions of the owners. And if you know the owners of a media outlet are anti-science and more concerned with oil than the future of our planet, fuck ’em, we’ll find someone else to support.

Free Ride

Guys, I know you’ve all been wanting to ride that Bricktown Water Taxi, but haven’t been able to afford it. If you are willing to hang out in freezing temperatures this month, however, you can cruise that murky green canal for free, and hear about the history of the Bricktown Chelino’s. If you’re looking for another way to get around Downtown OKC, there’s another option that I’m going to dissuade you from using:

Can We Be Done With Scooters?

In the last week, I’ve seen so many of these goddamn toys for grown white people strewn across the sidewalks. If they were actually viable transportation, it would be cool, but I only ever see drunk people cranking them down sidewalks at top speed, pushing aside normal pedestrians so the riders can get their 20 mph prepubescent jollies.

It’s A Great Time To Shoot Animals In Oklahoma…

When it’s responsible, hunting isn’t really a bad thing (at least, if you’re okay with killing other things for food). If it’s an abundant creature and you’re going to eat it, that’s better than taking part in the factory farming of animals. The funny thing about this story to me is how Oklahoma wasn’t known for its ‘trophy bucks’ because we were killing them when they were way too damn young. Turns out, if you wait for the deer to actually grow up, it’s going to get bigger. Whodathunkit?

Steven’s Sports Beat

Much to chagrin of non-OU fans, the Sooners won their fourth straight Big 12 Title. The ESPN talking heads made it interesting, casting doubt on whether Oklahoma would even make the top 10. As it turns out, beating every team you played that season, despite the defensive woes, made enough of a statement for OU to make the playoffs for the 4th time in 5 years. Flo Ride be prepared for the onset of Crimson and Cream.

There is also good news for the Pokes: they won’t be playing in a mid-December bowl game. At a 2:25pm kick-off, some people will get off work soon enough to catch part of the game (if you’re not going to exotic Memphis for the Liberty Bowl on a Monday.) Unfortunately, they’re playing a familiar foe in Mizzura. Fortunately, it takes place on the Bourbon Street of the north.

Nothing says NBA than a room of old white women. From a players perspective it’s probably a dream. No one is hounding them for selfies, autographs, or ticket requests. Hopefully they were on their best behavior and refrained from using colorful southern colloquialisms. I mean the hurtful ones other than “that nice tall young man.” (-Steven)