Chuck Norris came to Edmond…

Earlier this week, the new Show Biz Cinema Superplex in Edmond celebrated its grand opening with a lavish ribbon cutting ceremony.

The event featured a who’s who guest list of local dignitaries, media heads, and most importantly, Oklahoma karate star turned action movie star turned tv star turned right-wing pariah Chuck Norris. Here’s a photo from the ribbon cutting:

Sorry. Had to do it. As you probably know, back in the early days of the Internet, before blogs, social media, and millennials came along and ruined everything, the world wide web was a quiet, peaceful, harmonious place that people primarily used to watch porn, pay bills and read facts about Chuck Norris. As a result, it’s now impossible for anyone in the media to write about Chuck Norris and not reference those facts.

For example, check out this News 9 report. They sent the one reporter who has every Chuck Norris movie on Betamax, VHS, DVD and Blu-ray to cover it – Steve “Whiskey Sweat” Shaw.

Naturally, he led things off with a Chuck Norris fact:

 

Outside of starring in a Lethal Weapon movie, that had to be a dream come true for Steve Shaw. In a way, he’s kind of the Chuck Norris of the Oklahoma City media. For example, you can take any Chuck Norris fact and turn it into a Steve Shaw fact…

  • Steve Shaw can speak braille.
  • Steve Shaw counted to infinity–twice.
  • Steve Shaw can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
  • Steve Shaw puts the “laughter” in “manslaughter.”
  • Steve Shaw doesn’t cheat death. He wins fair and square.

See what I mean? It totally works. Please share your favorite Steve Shaw fact in the comments.