Welcome back to our year in review! If you missed yesterday’s post, click here to get caught up on some of the craziest, funniest, and most important stories that we published in 2018. These are published in chronological order, so today we’ll be going back over some of the best posts from spring. Share your memories of these wild and sometimes awful moments in the comments!
Published: March 26, 2018
What We Said: “Some people may be alarmed that the oil industry has further tightened its grasp on our state government and educational institutions, but I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. First of all, oil, money and football have controlled the University of Oklahoma since the 1950s. This isn’t anything new. Second, at least Gallogly is open and transparent about his loyalties to oil companies, the Republican party and other corporate interests. Basically, he’s not a hypocrite about it like David Boren.”
Why It Was Crazy: As it turns out, qualifications mean zip to attaining positions of power. Wild huh? There’s a first time for everything.
Published: April 4, 2018
What We Said: “Only a few days after receiving a $6,000 per year payoff to go away and be quiet, thousands of teachers from all across the state walked out of the classroom this week and gathered at the Capitol to protest Mary Fallin and conservative Oklahoma lawmakers’ morbid fascination with not adequately funding education.”
Why It Was Crazy:
The have-nots in Oklahoma have gotten so used to just standing there and taking it on the chin like the punching bags we are, it’s wild to see so many people be vocal and supportive for the cause. Nobody must’ve been more surprised than the legislators, who no doubt must have been relieved when the OEA called off the demonstration after 2 weeks of spirited protest. They must have been even more surprised when 180 teachers ran for office in Oklahoma, winning 42 of those races. State republicans won this battle, but the war ain’t over yet.
Published: April 5, 2018
What We Said: “Yes, gentle readers, “outside protest groups” have infiltrated the ranks of our hard-working, humble and ultimately thankful teachers, waiting for just the right moment to incite their specialized brand of liberal violence and Fox News-approved fear, hoping to cause matronly mayhem in a crowd that continues to grow, both in number and emotions, by the day.”
Why It Was Crazy: This isn’t a uniquely Oklahoma problem, but the right-wing these days has such a hard time believing that anyone would be upset by their generations of policy decisions that make the top 2% richer while leaving the rest of us devastatingly poor and without access to basic needs like healthcare. The fact that the only way they can rationalize people being motivated to do anything is if they’re getting paid by dark money is more telling about their own lives.
Published: April 5, 2018
What We Said: “Marla Morgan is wearing the crown. She took down Steven Adams 535-435 in Monday’s championship match. The former rodeo beauty queen and wife to KFOR Channel 4 weatherman Mike Morgan has been a fixture on this site ever since she first started emailing Patrick swimsuit photos in 2012.”
Why It Was Crazy: After defeating such Ogle Madness heavy hitters as Gary England, Joleen Chaney, and Joe Exotic, Marla was able to win our arbitrary tournament. After such a long and strange relationship with this site, one that continues to this day, it’s nice to see our readership show some love to the Morgans.
Published: May 25, 2018
What We Said: “Normally, I get irritated when the media hypes a mass shooter, but this time, it feels warranted. Tilghman wasn’t some disturbed guy who wanted to make a name for himself, or hated the world because he couldn’t get laid. He was a mentally deranged man who needed urgent mental health care in a state that routinely cuts it.”
Why It Was Crazy:
It’s hard to say what could have been done to prevent murders by someone who had so many clear warning signs of mental instability. You can’t arrest someone just for being troubled. And it’s not like Oklahoma provides many resources for mental help. But you CAN prevent access to the gun he used to kill those people. Alas, that’s unlikely to happen in a state where legislators have pushed for things like no-permit concealed carry, so…
Published:June 4, 2018
What We Said: “They paint a picture of a rich, privileged, dirty man who sexually harassed young women who were less than half his age, misled actresses about the subject matter of his content and films, and apparently compiled a large personal library of photographs of women that were taken without their knowledge or consent.”
Why It Was Crazy: It’s not surprising that a toad who made a z-grade, icky movie that acted out hit woman-hating fantasies would also be a total creep in real life, but hopefully, this snuffs out his future Hollywood dreams.
Published: June 5, 2018
What We Said: “We all have stories from dive bars and classy joints all around the metro. But did you know that women in the OKC area share stories of the types of dudes who hit on them at various local bars? We do. In fact, we often choose where we’ll go to get a drink based on how we want to be harassed that evening.”
Why It Was Crazy: We all knew that dudes are gross and often incapable of behaving appropriately (see above), but to learn that there was such a diverse stratification of gross dudes is fascinating.
Published: June 6, 2018
What We Said: “I don’t ask a lot from Republican voters, but please please please please please please please don’t follow the Oil Overlord’s plan and elect Todd Lamb as governor. He is basically the Ken to Mary Fallin’s Barbie. They’re both shallow, plastic, die-cut politicians who have followed the same career path, ran for office on the same cliché “faith and family” platform, and are controlled by the same Oil Overlord puppet masters.”
Why It Was Crazy: It takes a special kind of crazy to want to run for any kind of political office. To run for something as prestigious as governor of Oklahoma, it takes a particular brand of insanity that seemingly attracts mostly people who are clearly unfit for the job.
Published: June 13, 2018
What We Said: “As we’ve documented on this site over the years, Oklahoma law enforcement officials are terrified about how medical marijuana legalization will affect their ability to enforce and profit off of victimless crimes that disproportionally target lower-income Oklahomans and minorities. If SQ 788 passes, they’ll have to (gasp) focus on real police work, and come up with new excuses to freeze assets and impose fines on Oklahoma citizens. If they don’t, Oklahoma will be in jeopardy of losing it’s title of Prison Capital of the World.”
Why It Was Crazy: Apparently, nobody wants to listen to us at TLO anymore and went ahead and voted for 788 after all. Y’all just brought in a new hellworld where families will be broken apart and drug abuse will spiral. I hope you’re all happy with yourselves.
Published: June 18, 2018
What We Said: “That’s weird and gross. Like most things that involve sexual intercourse in public under a tree, I’m sure drugs were partly to blame. Then again, maybe they were simply living out a sick and twisted Jim Henson universe cosplay sex fantasy. You have to admit, Tony looks a bit like Hoggle from Labyrinth…”
Why It Was Crazy: Look, it doesn’t matter who you are or what you look like, everyone deserves love. Even if it’s next to the bus stop near Flea Market Row, when the urge strikes, let those sparks fly.