TLO Weekend News Recap

Aaaaaand we’re back! After a few weeks off from writing, I had a little bit of time to refresh my mind and reset the senses. Between New Year’s Day and getting a snow day last Thursday, I even had two whole days off with no actual obligations, which hasn’t happened in quite some time. All of the relaxation and clarity I was able to achieve on those hours filled with Netflix vegetation and naps, however, was quickly displaced after browsing through the headlines this weekend. Let’s get the new year started off with a healthy dose of cynicism:

Not In My Backyard!

We’re used to seeing NIMBY’s in city limits push back against backyard chickens. After all, who wants to have a rooster next door crowing at the crack of dawn every morning when you don’t gotta get up to milk Bessie? Now that attitude is even spreading to the sticks. Good on them- after all, Tracy Jordan was right:

It Pays To Be In Power

To the surprise of nobody, nearly 1,000 of our state officials take home more than $100,000 a year. I’m sure it’s hard work and all, but with how much they talk about our state being bankrupt and austerity and bootstraps and all that bullshit, ya gotta wonder how it’s possible to get paid so much money to sink the ship that the rest of us are relying on.

Everything Is Crumbling

Cool cool cool just holes opening up in our heavily-trafficked bridges, no big deal, just THREE FOOT BY ONE FOOT gaping maws that cars can fall into, nothing to see here. I’m sure Kevin Stitt’s new Sonic boy will just swoop in and audit the hell out of our agencies to make sure that nothing like this ever happens again.

This guy is a county commissioner from Nowhere, Oklahoma. He apparently shot a deer from his truck but lied to a cop and said he was shooting at coyote. Or something like that. Either way, here’s the weird part:

Hindman, who is new District 3 County Commissioner in Roger Mills County, was arrested and charged with possession of a firearm after a former felony conviction.

If you’re not allowed to possess a firearm, you probably shouldn’t be allowed to hold public office. Just throwing that out there.

Steven’s Sports Beat

Mark Twain added to the quote, “Truth is stranger than fiction.” If an American journalist had not recently been murdered in a Saudi Embassy in Turkey no one would have taken Enes’s worry seriously. A former Soviet spy and his daughter were poisoned where? Yup. In Salisbury, England. Just two hours from London.

 

For the poke fans trying to look past their 7-6 football season and instead enjoy basketball season… Well, here’s to looking towards the 2019 football season. The pokes love everything bedlam, so this loss has to sting. At least the Cowboys were able to end the past football season with a bowl win, with the bonus that it was a bowl game most people have heard of before.

 

An existing bastion from the Mike Stoops era is gone. Now the only one to blame for the horrible defense is the head coach himself. Out with the old and in with the new, as if any formula could be worse than what the Sooners has this year. In fact, Coach Steve from Netflix’s Big Mouth would have been a suitable replacement should the Sooners not want to improve on D. (-Steven)

For more local cynic takes, follow Lucas on Twitter