TLO Weekend News Recap

Every time we get jaded about radical weather changes in Oklahoma, we get a week like we just had. There was fog, lightning, snow, 30 degree temperature shifts, 40+ mph winds- basically, any dumb thing a meteorologist could wish for other than a tornado.  Hell, last night we even had a total lunar eclipse on a full moon. I feel like the universe is trying to tell us something that has absolutely nothing to do with Kevin Stitt’s inauguration. Ignore the raining frogs and locust plagues that are planned for next week.

OU Greek Life Is Still Racist

In a turn that is shocking to no one, a white kid in a sorority said some heinously racist shit, yet again. Naturally, the University of Oklahoma took the correct measures to rectify the situation. Read their statement:

Oh.. so.. huh. They said that they’re sad, and that the offending students ‘have offered to apologize.’ Well, carry on, problem solved, nothing to see here… At least the sorority had the good sense to give her the boot:

Keep Oklahoma Mediocre Again 

So you say we’ve got a 3.2% unemployment rate, eh? You know what else was 3.2%?

That’s right. I believe that you can connect the unemployment rate to the removal of 3.2% beer, as was prophesied by Nostradamus. Have you ever looked at the back of a $20 bill, like REALLY looked? Check out my YouTube channel where I break all this down and explain the connection between Anheuser-Busch and the interdimensional replicants that control our world government.

Danny Bowien is back

Danny Bowien is kinda local in the same way as Rick Bayless (or Skip, for that matter), but we’ll still claim him. At the very least, he’s a good ambassador for local cocktails. His pop-up sold out in half an hour, and judging by the menu and his celeb status, it’s not surprising.

I’m just pissed that I could recognize half the people in the background on that video, yet not a single one of them saved me a bite.

Give Us The Big Horse

There are only two valid questions about this massive horse sculpture:
1) Will its eyes glow red like ‘Mesteno?’
2) How will the genitalia be represented?

Everybody Loves Wheeler!

It’s cool seeing this area come together after it’s been talked about so much. Apparently, there are still plenty of haters out there, however. Read the replies to this tweet if you wanna see a bunch of people who live in the suburbs and don’t understand dense urban housing:

There are more like this, but obviously the people complaining wouldn’t be moving there anyways. Hopefully for the developers, there will be plenty of buyers out there who would rather live in a dense, central location without a wasteful yard to maintain.

Steven’s Sports Beat

 

It’s cute how a head football coach in his early-thirties refers to a 20 year-old as an ‘old soul,’ but the phrase ‘I’M A MAN! I’M 40!’ was aggressively scooped up already. Speaking of which, if Jalen Hurts is named as the starter and wins Bedlam, it will be the 5th consecutive year a walk-on QB will have beaten the Pokes. That is probably some sort of record, isn’t it?

Since we’re on the topic of Oklahoma football, the QB situation played out well for Sooner fans. Kyler Murray is gone. Jalen is in Norman. Austin Kendall is gone. Oh, but that’s where the saga begins. Will Grier is gone from West Virginia, a Big 12 foe. Austin wanted to go to Morgantown for some reason and Coach Riley said ‘no.’ Maybe it’s because he has the OU playbook and WV is 0’fer since joining the conference. In a time not so long ago, a similar situation happened in Norman with a sophomore named Baker Mayfield. Texas Tech said ‘no’ some many times that OU made the Big 12 change the rules just to suit them into getting Baker another year of eligibility. In the end, it sounds like everyone should be happy. Well, he is going to West Virginia.

Usually when we talk about golf, we’re strumming Ricki Fowler’s pain with our fingers at his not winning a major golf championship. Again. Hometown boy Taylor Gooch (cool last name) who went from MWC to Stillwater to the PGA made bank on Sunday coming in 4th place in the Desert Classic. Most hackers shoot a 64 and then have to make the turn and play another 9 holes. Great Job!

Once again, PG came through late in the game to give the Thunder another W. He is the Scotty Pippen to our Westbrook (sorry to those who aren’t familiar to 90’s era basketball). It would be nice to see a little more out of number 0’s production in terms of pushing the pumpkin around, but he does get a ’10’ for the side action in running his mouth and trying to pick on a Joel Embiid who is twice his size.