TLO Society Recap: Timberlake, Speaker’s Ball and The OKC Cock Ring

As Lucas noted in our weekend recap, (basic) people (with mainstream music tastes) of all ages, nationalities and colors flocked to downtown Oklahoma City over the weekend to lay witness to the formulaic sights and sounds of Justin Timberlake.

By far, the biggest star in attendance was OU head football coach Lincoln Riley. Never one to shy away from impressing recruits on social media with his youth, relatability and emoji vocabulary, Riley tweeted the following photo with the star:

That’s pretty cool. You can see that Justin is having the same sad epiphany that many Oklahoma men in their mid 30s to early 40s have had over the past couple of years – he’s now older than OU’s head football coach! It’s a terrible feeling.

Lincoln Riley wasn’t the only local celeb in attendance. Emily Sutton scored seats so close that it melted the snowflakes in her eyes and permanently altered her barometric pressure:

Mayor McSelfie was so struck by Timberlake’s dance moves that he forget modern rules of punctuation:

Sadly, it appears that not every big name in OKC was able to score tickets to the show. Instead of getting their sexy back, Mike and Marla Morgan took the Mighty Casey to downtown to check out our city’s number one new selfie destination – THE OKC COCK RING.

For the record, the OKC Cock Ring is not my favorite place in town. That honor strictly belongs to The Mathis Brothers Love Lounge – a delicious, invite-only club located underneath the Lady Americana showroom at 3434 West Reno. I believe Mike and Marla are charter members.

In addition to the Morgan’s, several notable politicians couldn’t make the concert because they were at the Speaker’s Ball – a glitzy event where politicians get to mingle and flirt with lobbyists, local elites and political groupies to celebrate the upcoming disastrous political session.

This was my favorite photo:

Boy, I sure am glad we have charity events where bankers get to rub elbows with all the local and national politicians who craft laws that protect people from greedy banks! I’m sure that will work out great for the people.

Anyway, I guess this concludes our dive into weekend society rubbish. Now I’m going to go write about a more light-hearted topic, like racism at the University of Oklahoma.