TLO Weekend News Recap

We can complain about the Super Bowl every year, and last night was as bad as it gets. It’s a toxic league that places owners first and players second. The NFL is regressive with how they treat very serious social issues. And of course, yet again, Tom Brady won one for Papa John and will go on to shake hands with his other buddy Donald Trump at the White House. Professional sports in America are reflective of the rest of our national reality, and right now that means the Big Winners will keep Winning Big. Life sucks, sports suck, here is some other news:

Bye Bye Birdie

Scooters are so conflicting for me. I hate car culture and desperately want to see people use other modes of transportation to get around. But at the same time, those goddamn scooters have me shaking my fist like an old man whenever somebody riding one whizzes past me on the sidewalk. Instead of a serious transit option, they just seem like toys for drunk people. Bon voyage, and take Lime with you on your way out.

Homeland Still Sucks

Ever since Homeland upgraded their old location on Classen, people have been freaking out about how nice it is, as if they did more to improve the shopping experience than just stocking kombucha and sushi. Now, they’ve shrunk the already meager produce section to add a bunch of expensive sugar water. Who needs spinach when there’s $3 bottles of artisanal Squirt?

RIP Bricktown Chelino’s

I’ve got more fond memories of Chelino’s than any other spot in Bricktown. So many pleasant warm afternoons on that patio, sipping margs and munching enchiladas. I had one particularly boozy late lunch there with Patrick after the Oklahoma Craft Beer Festival a few years back. Thankfully, the other Chelino’s locations will remain open, but this one leaves a gaping hole in my heart.

Here Is Oklahoma’s Creepiest Man

When you look like Steve Buscemi is too handsome to play you in the movie version of your life, times are tough. The name James Dick Junior doesn’t help either.

‘Cyber Seniors’

Is there a class to deprogram, where they teach you to just go back to a flip-phone? I’ll sign up for that one. The last thing we need is more old people on Facebook all the time.

Steven’s Sports Beat

Seth McFarland is the master of painful, awkward redirection. It’s almost like he’s the one that directed the 6 minutes and 30 seconds of zero offense. Imagine watching two music videos on mute. Half way through the second one you ask yourself, “What am I watching?”

For a lot of people, the mere mention of Tom Brady evokes the same reaction as Ted Bundy. It is at least comforting that Oklahoma’s own Micky Mantle is listed as a GOAT in Major League Baseball. Unfortunately, ‘denial’ is not a river in Egypt, because as great as “Joe Cool” Montana was, the 6th round draft pick out of Michigan is the same for the NFL.

And that was close to the final score, as the Thunder lost by 5. Still, after scoring 129 points, the offense is hitting on all cylinders. Russ got another triple double and six players scored double figures. Let’s just chalk the L to playing on the road in an iconic area.

A couple of the local new stations aired this story. OU fans better get past their Bedlam bias and send Recil a card or letter. There aren’t a lot of WWII veterans left and we need to appreciate the greatest generation because time is rapidly claiming this chapter in history.