TLO Weekend News Recap

February 11, 2019
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by Lucas

After another late Friday night of closing the bar, mopping floors and cleaning bathrooms and all the Charlie Work that comes with the job, I passed out on the couch around 5 am. None of this is unusual, especially not the half-sandwich and half-beer on the coffee table that I was too tired to finish. Although I tried hard to sleep in, all these crazy annoying sounds were blasting from beyond my apartment. First, there was this unending sizzling hiss, like a cheap spoiler kit dragging across pavement. Then, an irrythmic drumming that I could only attribute to my hippie bro practicing bongos. As it turns out…

It’s the Year Of The Pig

…the Asian buffet/pho restaurant down the street, Pho Kim Long, was hosting festivities. The hissing sound was sheets of firecrackers, and the bongo was actually somebody else with no natural rhythm playing drums. When I figured out what was going on, I couldn’t be mad. It’s pretty badass that we’ve got a vibrant Asian-American community in the heart of the city that puts on crazy celebrations in the parking lots of restaurants and grocery stores. And thankfully, unlike St Patrick’s Day and Cinco De Mayo, Chinese New Year hasn’t been appropriated by drunk bros… yet.

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There’s An Election This Week

Out of all the tweets I could bring up about this Tuesday’s important city council election, none is more amazing than this one. That’s right, the official blue checkmarked Twitter account for the OK GOP posted what looks like a meme that Pawpaw posted on Facebook. City council isn’t even an actual partisan election. It’s also telling of how misguided our state Republicans are when they use “economic justice, full democracy, equal justice and human rights for all” as some kind of signifier for villainy. (And while you’re here, vote for James Cooper in Ward 2 and JoBeth Hammon in Ward 6.)

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New Governor, Same Ol’ Stitt

If you thought that when Kevin Stitt said he’d run the state like a business that he meant restricting women’s rights to healthcare in a very dangerous and negligent manner, congratulations! Bring your bingo card up front and we’ll give you a voucher that you can exchange for a free Unconstitutional Court Battle at any of our participating locations.

Along those lines:

Between Calvey, Stitt, and Durant, Oklahoma sure has a Kevin problem.

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That Dang Dome

Did you know it’s also got a cream filling?

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Raining Piss

Ya know what a literal nightmare sounds like? Let’s start with a crumbling tower downtown where people are imprisoned, often for too long, and the floors are flooded with human excrement. It straight up sounds like a chapter out of Dante’s Inferno.

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Steven’s Sports Beat

If you missed this game, it was epic. I was at a friend’s house, and to be honest we kind of tuned the game out and paid more attention to our card game. As we made a  beer/pee break, we noticed the Thunder were up by 2 points. How’d that happen? Thunder magic baby.

This is really sad not only for Thunder fans who wanted depth on the bench, but obviously for Abrines as well. We don’t know what he’s going through, but it’s major enough that his NBA career could be coming to a close. Hopefully, he’s able to come out of his struggles and get back to a fulfilling life.

FINALLY! Something in Lloyd Noble Center to not only be happy about, but to celebrate. Remember last week when I said OU may not win another Big 12 game? A recent Tweet compared OU basketball this season to OU football in 1996. OUch. When does baseball season start?  Better yet, OU Softball just started, and they didn’t lose to a Big 12 foe last season.

Unfortunately, the Pokes 90 miles to the north are not faring much better. The good news is the Aggies did manage to pull down a National Championship in meat packing or something like that. I bet it there’s a sign on 51 that will remind everyone. Better yet, maybe T-Boone can buy another football natty from the early 1900’s.

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