Even with 7 friendly and fun Patricia’s locations scattered across two metros, Oklahoma isn’t known as America’s most romantic state. I have a feeling that title goes to some place like Montana or New York, where the plots of those romance novels always seem to take place. Hell, even Arkansas would probably be considered more romantic than our state. Still, it doesn’t mean that Oklahoma is completely loveless-or lustless for that matter. So here are five theoretical stories we’d read if romance novels actually took place in Oklahoma!
Met You Cummins and Going
In the lighthearted novel, Met You Cummins and Going, follow MaKayla in her on-again-off-again relationships with Billy Joe and Will. The love triangle kicks off after a night of muddin’ outside of Geary, is fueled by lust and wine coolers, and ends with MaKayla having to choose between a Duramax and Cummins hoodie.
They say love is hard. But they never tell you just how cold it can also be. In the romance novel, Idyllic Love, Governor Kevin Stitt finds himself falling deeper and deeper in love with the bronze statue of Ronald Reagan in the National Cowboy and Western Heritage Museum. Like trickle down economics, this romance is but a hopeless fantasy. But that doesn’t keep Kevin from obsessing-dare I say lusting– over the idealized man.
Too Close for Comfort
If there is anything that Bryan has learned from spending all of his 22 years in the outskirts of Burns Flat, Oklahoma, it’s that love is hard to come by and only sin happens after dark. In the novel, Too Close for Comfort, follow Bryan from meeting his mysterious, yet familiar first Tinder match in his small town, to the next family reunion when he diverts eye contact with his 3rd cousin LeeAnn for 3 awkward hours.
Darrel never believed in love at first sight. That is, until he laid eyes on a 5-foot flat brunette taking full advantage of the 2-for-$1 roller grill special while wearing a dingy Reba McEntire 1995 world tour t-shirt. So, he does what every other hopeless romantic would do and creates a “missed connections” ad on Craigslist. Follow his love interest Jessica in the book, Dissed Connection, from the discovery of the ad while couch shopping on Craigslist, to the next two months of her avoiding revisiting the Love’s on I-40.
Essential to Me
Carol Anne was the perfect Edmond housewife. Her husband finally let her trade her trashy white 2018 BMW 3-series for a sleek black 2019 BMW 3-series. Her children, Laura and Tanner, were off on a mission trip to somewhere with good enough cell service to post regular selfies with the impoverished. And she hadn’t had pinot grigio before 2:00 PM in nearly 3 weeks. But no matter how self-aware Carol Anne thought herself to be, not even she could’ve guessed how much she’d risk her own livelihood for an opportunity. That is, until she received a Facebook message from an old college friend. In the scandalous novel, Essential to Me, follow Carol Anne as she finds herself slowly alienating her friends, family, and even husband, as she falls deeper and deeper into her love and obsession with doTERRA essential oils.
Hayley’s grandma once gave her a Braum’s sack full of cowboy erotica novels. Follow her on twitter @squirrellygeek.