Oklahoma traffic turns into toilet humor

Oklahoma traffic is typically a shit-show. Now, we have toilet paper to blame.

A semi-truck driving in the freezing drizzle yesterday caused a three-mile traffic jam on I-35 after spilling toilet paper onto the roads.

Via News 9:

News 9 Storm Trackers Val & Amy Castor were out covering freezing drizzle across north-central Oklahoma when they found themselves in traffic, a backup that by their estimation was miles long.

What happened along the northbound lanes of I-35 near Sorghum Mill Road is something the veteran storm trackers had never seen: traffic backed up for miles due to a spillage of toilet paper along the highway.

Val & Amy estimated the slow-down to be as much as three miles back.

Listen, I could dish out every poop joke related to traffic all day long. One might even call this attempt a crapshoot.

Traffic jams like this are not something to joke about. Three miles of traffic blocked into a standstill lane. Despite efforts to unblock the constipation, travelers pushed on with little success.

Thankfully, cleaning crews came to wipe up the mess caused by the spillage.

By 6 p.m., a clean-up crew made it to the area to pick up dozens of rolls, and by 6:15 p.m., the toilet paper spill was no more. 

No signs of skid marks have been found to provide evidence that the truck driver attempted to stop. In fairness, if the toilet paper was loosely packed into the cargo hold, efforts are futile to stop the runny mess. Sometimes, it’s better to move on in shame if you had an accident in public.

The Lost Ogle wants everyone to practice safe driving habits as icy conditions continue to affect the state. Dress warm, drive safely, and be sure to stock on necessities; provided stores have actually received their shipment of toilet paper.