Monday Morning News

I can’t believe they cancelled school today because of the cold. Why, in my day, we’d have to go to school every day, no matter what. Even when the temperatures dropped below freezing, we’d sit in the barracks in an underfunded school and have the substitute teacher for Oklahoma history put on a VHS copy of ‘Remember the Titans.’ Kids these days are too soft if they can’t even show up at high school and miss out on the business math teacher, who is also the girl’s volleyball coach, talk about his favorite BBQ restaurant in Sapulpa.

Free Trees!

It’s kinda embarrassing the the suburbs have put in place a plan to beautify with more trees than OKC has. I don’t even know what Chinese Pistache or Purple Robe Locust are, but they sound like pretty tight lookin’ trees. Or possibly some super dank medicinal strains. Either way, I’d rather see more leafy blooms than dispensaries on 23rd street.

Legalize E-Bikes

I’d never even considered that you would need a driver’s license to ride one of those goofy electronic bikes, but apparently that’s a thing in Oklahoma. It’s wild because the only people who own those are over 50, yet any drunk 20-something can hop on a Lime scooter and weave through traffic at 20 mph.

Bad Deer Hunter

This is the laziest shit I’ve ever heard. The whole point of hunting seems to revolve around being out in the woods with your buds, drinking Natty Lights, and wearing really ugly clothing. If you want that venison chili, put on the Carhartt and grab your rifle like everybody else from Harrah.

Bumble Fumble

This isn’t too surprising according to the friends of mine that have relied on apps like Tinder to hook up. I’m gonna guess the problem is that they don’t ask you what your favorite Braum’s milkshake flavor is. A lot of problems later on could be solved when you find out that your partner loves rocky road like only irrational people do.

Steven’s Sports Beat

It was an epic showdown of #1 vs #2 in the Lloyd Noble Arena on Saturday that had 10,000 people show up. Unfortunately for the basketball programs, it was the women’s gymnastics team, but butts in the seats pays the bills right?

The boys in blue were behind for the majority of the game and pulled it out in the end of the 4th. Basketball is a great sport to watch in person, and the last two minutes of the 4th quarter is when all the action takes place.

Nothing will get you more followers than kicking it with Moore’s 2nd most famous resident. Who knows how many adds she got from the 405 alone after this pic was posted from the Thunder game.

Kind of a slow news day from the NFL Combine. Kyler showed up to basically get on a scale and have his hand and height measured. The talking heads were all over him stacking up almost spot on with Russell Wilson. If he goes #1 in the draft Lincoln Riley will always get the top high school quarterback and OU fans will be insufferable. Well even more insufferable. (-Steven)