Each spring at The Lost Ogle, we love to express our vitriolic hate for the Bradford Pear tree. As Lucas has noted in the past, the pros to this tree are massively outweighed by the cons.
• Pretty blossoms for about two weeks of the year
• Smells like rotten fish & cum
• Wreaks suffering and misery on allergies
• Mooches off other better and cooler trees
• Destroys windshields during ice storms
• Dumb name
Well, it looks like we’re not the only ones who feel this way. Last week, the city of Fayetteville launched a bounty program to encourage residents to cut down their Bradfords, and in turn, get a replacement tree that doesn’t smell like a fish market brothel.
Here are the details via the AP:
Fayetteville urban foresters are encouraging city residents to chop down invasive Bradford pear trees from their properties and swap them with native ones.
Bradford pears, also known as the Callery pear, gained popularity because they are small- to medium-sized trees that can be effortlessly clipped.
The Northwest Arkansas-Democrat Gazette reports that Fayetteville Natural Heritage Association chairwoman Jennifer Ogle says Bradfords take over an area and don’t create a useful habitat for wildlife or vegetation. Ogle noted the trees don’t grow edible pears.
Residents are first required to take a picture of the dead tree and submit it to the city’s urban foresters. They will then be eligible to obtain a free tree.
Speaking of smelly invasive species, Fayetteville has its own clan of Ogles? That’s interesting. I wonder if they are friendly and peaceful with our Ogles, or part of some rival sect? Do they all meet in Tahlequah for an annual Ogle Council? Answers please.
Anyway, I’m never one to encourage that we steal ideas from Arkansas, but maybe we should do something similar here in Oklahoma City. I know David Holt would probably be against it because they make good backgrounds for his selfies, but if we can get rid of cow-tipping shirts at the airport, we can get rid of Bradford Pears in our neighborhoods. It would be massively popular program and make our city smell slightly better during the last part of March and early April. Make it happen, OKC.