Good Monday morning, you bright-eyed, bushy-tailed Oklahomans. After two weeks, of voting, we've reached the Elite 8 of Ogle Madness (view the bracket here).
Here's the incredible slate of matchups:
(2) Steven Adams vs (5) Kendra Horn
(3) OKC Cock Ring vs (12) Emily Virgin
(1) Marla Morgan vs (2) Lacey Swope
(1) Russell Westbrook vs (3) Teachers
The Elite 8 has a bit of everything Ogle Madness has to offer – media babes, politicians, occupations, athletes and public art. Who will advance to the Final 4? Cast your vote after the jump...
(2) Steven Adams
Last Round: Defeated (3) Kyler Murray 522-231
Who: Center for the OKC Thunder
Biggest Strength: Fun charisma
Biggest Weakness: Known to play dirty sometimes
–
(5) Kendra Horn
Last Round: Defeated (1) Emily Sutton 387-369
Who: A blue beacon in a sea of red
Biggest Strength: Giving Democrats hope that a vote does count
Biggest Weakness: That same hope being dashed when Republicans don’t give a shit
–
_
(3) OKC Cock Ring
Last Round: Defeated (2) Lincoln Riley 419-301
Who: The best art Oklahoma City has to offer
Biggest Strength: Perfect photo-ops
Biggest Weakness: The person who thought it was a great idea
–
(12) Emily Virgin
Last Round: Defeated (1) Paul George 388-363
Who: Oklahoma House of Representatives Minority Leader
Biggest Strength: Common sense and a good moral compass
Biggest Weakness: Parks and Rec
–
_
(1) Marla Morgan
Last Round: Defeated (13) Nipple Church 428-367
Who: Mike Morgan’s hot wife and last year’s Ogle Madness champion
Biggest Strength: Oklahoma’s defining MILF
Biggest Weakness: Her husband’s flashier ties
–
(2) Lacey Swope
Last Round: Defeated (3) Carrie Underwood 448-324
Who: Severe weather babe and former Ogle Madness champion
Biggest Strength: Being the best smoke-show in front of a green screen
Biggest Weakness: Not knowing distance in relation to family time
–
_
(1) Russell Westbrook
Last Round: Defeated (12) Skirvin Ghost 413-235
Who: One of the best to play the game
Biggest Strength: Basketballing
Biggest Weakness: Racist Utah Jazz Fans
–
(3) Teachers
Last Round: Defeated (2) Joleen Chaney 344-296
Who: People most screwed by Oklahoma lawmakers lack of empathy
Biggest Strength: Education and crowd-sourcing
Biggest Weakness: Disposable income
–
_
Stay in touch
Sign up for our free newsletter
