Weekend News Recap

Ahh, springtime, what with the birds and the bees and the pollen and the weird springtime flu or whatever that has decimated me over the last week. Nothing like thinking, “Boy, my allergies sure are bad today hey why am I running a constant fever and also everything hurts all over!” Dunno if I’m an isolated case or Patient Zero or whatever, but I’m gonna recommend y’all get your Purell and cotton face masks out of the junk drawer because you don’t want none of this.

The Cool Mayor Is A Sk8r Boi

Last week, Brandon wrote a funny article that angered a sub-section of our readership that I figured would have more of a sense of humor, which is the Ageing X-Games Demographic. Y’all have been here before, right? We poke the bear for fun, just realize that when it’s your turn to be that bear, shrug it off and find something else that you agree with instead.

Anyways, all of the Instagram posts I saw from the event did show the Birdman skating like a… 50 year-old man (although the frontflip out of the bowl that The Cool Mayor caught is something that most other dudes his age can’t pull off). But who cares? You’re not gonna go see The Rolling Stones and have Mick Jagger dancing around like he wasn’t on his sixth hip replacement, but you’re seeing the friggin’ Stones! Not to mention that yesterday’s event also featured some of the biggest young skaters in the game, like Jaws and OKC’s own Clint Walker.

Skateboarding’s not a crime!

If You’re Gonna Do Something Wrong, At Least Do It Well

This guy wasted a bunch of perfectly good $10 bills only to get immediately busted. He shoulda just stuck to selling meth, at least that’s honest capitalism.

Livin’ On The Edge

Holy shit I don’t understand physics and all that too well, but however this truck managed to do this maneuver without falling off the overpass is pretty dang lucky. The guy standing underneath is also pretty dang lucky as well. It’s hard to judge the distance, but he doesn’t seem to be hanging out in a very good spot. Hopefully, everyone involved gets a speedy recovery.

Marathon Madness

As somebody who couldn’t run to save their own life, I don’t have very strong opinions about the marathon route. As the partner of a serious marathon runner, however, I can translate. From what she tells me, all the runners she’s talked to are happy about the course changes. For one, Lake Hefner is excluded, which is a windy hellride right in the middle of the full marathon. Also, Classen has been taken out of the half-marathon, which is an ugly stretch of road that is all uphill with that typical south-blowing wind.

Steven’s Sports Beat

OKC roared into the playoffs, ripping off 5 wins in a row. This gave them a two-spot jump, going from the 8th to 6th seed, and setting them up against the Trailbailers. The Thunder owned the Trailblazers in the 2018-19 season and swept all 4 games, two of which were in Portland. Suddenly, during game 1 last night, the whole squad seemed to forget how to shoot a basketball. Oh well. Maybe Loud City will propel them once they get back to the Central Time Zone.

The butterfly effects of the Carmelo Anthony debacle continue to pay dividends.

If you have a Twitter account, your news feed was blasted on Sunday afternoon with news of the most infamous serial womanizer currently still playing in the PGA winning his first green jacket in 14 years. The Poke’s own Rickie made a late charge and came close, again, to winning a major championship. The bright side is if an old man can do it at 43, there is still time for you young man.

In case you need a bedtime story, I dare you to make it more than halfway through this thrilling tale of being in an airport, taking an Uber to a popular restaurant without a reservation, and the Portland Wikipedia page copied & pasted.

This is just shy of oSu’s average home game attendance and it was a last minute change to a Friday night, so there is no telling how many out-of-towners did not bother showing up. Not to mention, it was not a real game, but a practice in full pads and uniforms. Jalan pretty much secured his spot as the starter over the Waco product, who once again has to wait in the wings to shine. You never know when it could happen. Ask Nate Hybl.

…but the real winner of the annual Red White game was the concession stand retailers. The current OU leadership saw fit to sell beer on a cool Friday night, and just like streets will flow with the blood of the non-believers, the brew flowed. BTW, hope you’ve got extra cash for those new seat upgrades, and Wifi is not free. (-Steven)