Good news, Game of Thrones fans! Your televisions will not be free from violence, dangerous romances, suspected murder, and power struggles for long.
According to the Hollywood Reporter, the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical that makes both OU and OSU fans stand and clap – Oklahoma! – will soon be remade into a television show. Being that the adaptation is set to take place in modern times, I have a feeling that we are going to see fewer petty coats and somehow a lot more guns in the TV version.
Here are 7 things we can expect from the modern remake of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Oklahoma!
1. Remastered music
Like every other country song to be produced in Nashville since 2004, the scores of the musical are probably going to be remastered to include a soft clap on the first and third beat of every song, 15-20 seconds of rapping about the way Ado Annie looks in her jeans, and an unnecessary cameo of Billy Ray Cyrus.
2. New Carriages
If “the surrey with the fringe on top” isn’t replaced by a “Ford F250 with a lift kit,” could we even say this play is taking place in modern-day Oklahoma?
3. A whole different rivalry
Throughout the story, the plot alludes to an ongoing feud between local farmers and cowboys over fencing and rights to water. Farming may still be a thing, but the only remnants of cowboys we have in our state are the kind who wear Hooey hats and drink at OKC Cowboys on their two weeks off. So we need a new rivalry for modern Oklahoma! television show. I’m thinking something along the lines of either Nichols Hills moms versus customer services representatives, or Life Church attendees and everyone else on the road on Sunday mornings.
4. A WAY different style of dating
In the story, Laurey is caught in a love triangle between sweet cowboy Curly McClain and rough farmhand Jud Fry. Both men get the chance to win a date with the lovely Laurey by bidding to win the box lunch she made for the school house fundraiser and the opportunity to share the meal with her. In the modern update, Curly and Jud will just use Tinder to get to Laurey’s box.
5. Different drugs
When Laurey finds herself unable to decide if she should marry Curly or Jud, she buys a “magic potion” from the peddler Ali Hakim to help her to make up her mind. The “magic” smelling salts end up being laudanum, an opioid, which leads her to dream of marrying Curly. Being that the new television show will take place in modern Oklahoma!, the new “magic” smelling salts will probably be meth.
6. Less white washing?
I don’t know, maybe we should discuss how all this “territory” came to be settled by the farmers and cowboys? I feel like we’re missing something here.
7. Curly still gets off with murder
I don’t know if I should still be required to say, “spoiler alert” if the storyline is nearly seven decades old, but here we are. At the end of the play, Jud reappears to harass Laurie before Curly steps in to defend his new bride’s honor. Jud pulls out a knife on Curly, who fights back as Jud’s drunk ass falls on his own blade. In a short sham of a trial, Curly is found to be “not guilty” for the death of Jud basically because nobody in Claremore liked Jud anyway. In the modern-day version, Curly will probably still be considered blameless in Jud’s death, but mainly because he is white.
The wind will still be sweeping down the plains. Follow Hayley on twitter @squirrellygeek