My longtime girlfriend and I decided to get out of the south ide of Oklahoma City and move towards the Lake Hefner area. In essence, this is the equivalent of driving an AMC Gremlin for years and trading it in for a Dodge Neon – a polished turd but it’s our polished turd.
We sat down at the table and searched for apartments within our budgets. We came to two conclusions: you can either have a shit-hole or an unnecessarily expensive apartment; and the margin for an affordable, safe place couldn’t even be hit by Luke Skywalker on his Death Star trench run.
We here at The Lost Ogle came up with some alternative places to live for the budget-inclined…
The Dibble Wasteland
Whether you’re part of the witness protection program, dumping a dead body, or getting away from city life, Dibble, Oklahoma has the area just for you. Residents will experience endless miles of barren fields, the occasional bathtub in the front lawn, and a Dollar General run by a 40-year-old man contemplating a stroll into traffic. There are plenty of abandoned farms and open land to choose from.
University of Oklahoma Passion Pit
This famed part of the University of Oklahoma has been home to educators, students, and a streak of bumping boots in the dead of night. For generations, young lovers have come to the pit to do what God frowns upon for sake of tradition. Since the university has cut on groundskeepers, one might be able to get away with living there for some time.
If you’ve traveled near the W&W Steel Mill off of I-40 lately, you’ll notice a growing community of homeless people living in a tent-city community. A modern-Hooverville, one could only imagine that the rent must be low and the company is in high quality. Just be sure to clean up after yourself and don’t mind the barrel burning for warmth.
Are you looking for a place which is never crowded? Are you looking for a spacious area where little to no people will ever bother you? Try the Osteology Museum. I can’t imagine rent being high or the employees giving a rat’s ass. You’ll be the liveliest thing they’ve seen in months.
Break into a church
Much like McDonald’s, there’s one on every corner in Oklahoma. We sure do love us some Jesus and so should you. Break into the worship area and set up camp. I’d tell you to go to a homeless shelter but the ratio between places of worship and homeless shelters is staggeringly one-sided. The worst thing they can do is forgive you intensely.