Weekend News Recap

I never try to use my space here or on social media to talk about some dumb thing on Netflix that I watched, but I had to listen to all of you rave, and then eventually moan, about The Games of the Thorns for nearly this entire decade, so for once you can listen to me. I watched that new Martin Scorsese documentary about the Rolling Thunder Revue, which was Bob Dylan’s crazy and ill-advised tour in 1975/76 after his album ‘Desire.’ The doc has some amazing behind-the-scenes and interview footage, not to mention incredible performances. But most interestingly, there’s a lot of made-up bullshit, including people who are interviewed who are completely fabricated, and stories that have no basis in reality. Watch it first before you read about those aspects, but it’s almost refreshing to be reminded that so much of what you see and read is bald-faced fiction.

Speaking of which, here is last weekend’s totally real and reliable news:

Bears Are Cancelled

Man, this bums me out. Bears are big and beautiful animals and if reincarnation ends up being I real thing, I only want to come back as either a bear or a spoiled house cat. They just roam around all day, eating berries and fish from the streams, rubbing their backs against trees, living that damn life. They even get to sleep for months out of the year! The only way I’m in favor of killing bears is if you do it barehanded, or with a knife to make things a little more fair.

Can someone check on Joe Dorman?

Geeze. Going to the Dominican Republic is becoming as dangerous as swimming in the Oklahoma river.

Noodling Season Is BACK

That’s the way fishing should be done, barehanded and fearless. By the way, this is how fishing should not be done.

Hopefully, the entire town of Paul’s Valley feasted well upon that big ol’ beefy boy. I’m referring to the fish – not the Lt. Governor.

Get It Together, Ada

Can’t confirm 100% this is Ada, but it could really be anywhere in our neck of the woods. Ignoring the Confederate flag and sieg heil, it’s at least progressive to see straight white men wearing flamboyant neon colors, and spelling their handmade signs correctly. With the complete absence of women in this photograph, it appears that these straight men are doing a very good job at wooing partners and having traditional, procreative sexual relationships.

#OKWX

That’s what we like to call, ‘God’s Nipples’

Here is the very rare ‘God’s Horse Penis.’ It’s usually not visible for long, but while it is visible, it is long.

At last, we have seen God’s Baby Teeth rain from the skies. Get that lil’ guy a Saf-T-Pop.

It’s A Good Time For Gun Crimes

Oklahoma has been steadily eroding any kind of accountability for gun owners for years. As it turns out, there’s only one guy employed to examine firearms for crimes, so as long as you don’t get caught in the first place, it might take a long time to go to prison over a shooting, as that one guy currently has 800 cases backed up.

Steven’s Sports Beat

Nick Nurse passed through Oklahoma not once, but twice on his way to becoming a world champion. I mean, who wouldn’t jump at the chance to coach in Enid? Maybe Rashaun Woods is on to something.

Want to guess how it ended? Yes, he was in signature orange. He says not winning a major doesn’t define him, but I bet he’d be more happy if he could have hung on through the weekend. Again.

Another Poke in orange did take home medalist honors at the US Open yesterday. Hovland was the low amateur, and broke a scoring record set by none other than eventual 18-major-winner Jack Nicklaus. Keep an eye on this kid who turns pro next week.