Bypassing the tenderloin, the t-bone and even the flank, Oklahoma lawmakers recently made the ribeye the official steak of our constantly hungry state. In honor of this useless resolution, I decided to celebrate with, what I believe, is one of the best places in town for the coveted cut of meat, Jeff’s Country Café, 3401 N. Classen Blvd.
For only $5.50, in a state plagued with homelessness, incarceration and so many other of society’s ills that we rank fearfully high in, Jeff’s definitely makes for an affordable night in the Big Town before crawling back to your one-bedroom apartment to watch network television, allowing the pauperest herbivore among us to be meat-eating royalty, even if only for a few protein-induced moments.
And while I simply adore the old-fashioned breakfasts that Jeff’s serves up—the eggs and pork chops definitely earn high marks—I haven’t re-entered this establishment in well over a year or so. Being one of the few eateries in town that still has a cloudy smoky section, I seated myself in the decidedly non-smoking area, in a single table close to the door, as per my lonely usual.
When the waitress came to take my order, I asked her about the $5.50 ribeye special painted crudely on the window; she told me that it is available, but I’ll need to buy a drink. I ordered my ribeye—very rare, thank you—and a cup of refillable coffee ($2.00) and read the latest copy of The Gayly as I patiently waited for my lunch order to arrive.
When it did come, a pool of warm blood had already begun forming around the steak, always a good sign for my vampire-like feedings on meatstuffs. As I cut in to the ribeye, the tender flesh conformed to the blade, the cheap lifeforce entering my body with every devout bite of this animal’s penny-pinching sacrifice. I took an unbuttered piece of Texas toast and gently sopped up the sanguine donation, enjoying the pepper-meets-copper taste.
I once heard that, when ordering vegetables, it’s typically healthier to eat plant-life that is full of spritely color and bouncy verve; eschewing potatoes and other starches, I ordered a nice serving of spinach and sliced tomatoes. Though probably canned, the spinach had a gratefully earthy glean to it, something you really want in your greens. The sliced tomatoes were nicely tart, not that I was expecting any less from the debatable fruit.
While I’m sure that, when enacting this official edict, Kevin Stitt and the other well-to-do legislators probably had the upscale cuts of meat offered by costly places like Red Prime, Mickey Mantle’s or Mahogany in mind, but for those of us Okie peons who appreciate the true value of a piece of cheap well-cooked meat—ribeye or otherwise—thank God for the thrifty goodness of Jeff’s Country Café. Cómpralo ya!