Oklahoma is – of course – the most dangerous place in the US to celebrate the 4th of July…

Stick a feather in our hat and call it macaroni!

Earlier this week, a clickbait state ranking site thing confirmed what everyone in Oklahoma has known for years: we’re the most badass, rockin’ and dangerous place to celebrate the 4th of July in America!

Via KOCO:

Oklahoma has been ranked the most dangerous state during the Fourth of July, according to a study.

According to the home security website A Secure Life, the Sooner State is considered to be the most dangerous state during Independence Day because of the high wildfire risk and a high rate of traffic deaths during the holiday weekend. The study created the ranking based on each state’s fire and road accident risk.

Oregon, Mississippi, California and West Virginia round out the five states considered to be the most dangerous.

That’s pretty cool. It’s nice to see Gov. Stitt’s efforts to make us a Top 10 State are still going strong. Maybe in December we’ll be named the most depressing place in America to celebrate Christmas!

Seriously, who is surprised by this? Oklahoma celebrates the 4th of July like it’s our official state purge. I think we all knew a kid or two in school who either drowned in a lake or blew their hand off with a cherry bomb. In fact, I recently read a report that one in seven Oklahoma high school brah douchebags will lose an eye in Roman candle fights alone. It’s what makes the holiday fun.

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12 Responses


  1. Fake news. First, one in seven men in Oklahoma are not blind in one eye! Perhaps the 40% of Democrats only have half a brain, but don’t blame Black Cats for that.
    Second, of the other “top five” dangerous places on this list, Oregon and California both ban all firecrackers, rockets, Roman Candles or any other firecrackers with testicles. Pretty hard to get seriously hurt with smoke bombs and sparklers.


    1. You think all men are “high school brah douchebags”?


      1. Pretty sure fucktard Marc never made it to high school.


      2. No, but I perhaps wrongfully assumed our author was labelling all Oklahoma high school boys as such. If “brah douchebags” is some subset of high school boys, then I will need more data to extrapolate the number of half blind adults who will result. But I do have enough data to stand by the half-brained Democrat statistics.


        1. Marc merely needed a pretext to name-call at Democrats. He didn’t have anything else to say.


        2. Marc, please extrapolate on the Democratic statistics. Did you see those stats on lumpy hannity’s blackboard?


    2. Someone got triggered.


    3. “First, one in seven men in Oklahoma are not blind in one eye!”

      Reading comprehension. 🤦‍♂️


  2. Oregon’s a surprise, considering anything that leaves the ground or explodes is banned by the fire marshal, so all you get is goundflowers, sparklers and snakes. Maybe piccalo Pete’s if the local noise ordnance doesn’t care.


    1. Stoned driving, dude.


      1. Oh, well, in Oregon? Since the 1960s? That’s just morning rush hour.


  3. They of course left out the annual statistics of celebrating the Fourth of July at Lake Thunderbird.
    It was at once a nice place to take your kids and enjoy freedom.
    Over the years i have seen it all there. Cold blooded murder,hot blooded murder,vehicular manslaughter,rape,arson,shooting,stabbing,drowning,prostitution,proselytizing,robbery,theft,drug overdose,offered every drug that you can think of and moonshine. I was even offered lucrative offers of time share buy ins and ways to lower interest rates,all they needed was a blank endorsed check to get the savings extravaganza started. Because;Fuck Yeah! USA USA USA USA!
    This is why we can’t have nice things.

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