The 7 Most Patriotic Ways to Celebrate the 4th of July in Oklahoma

10:56 AM EDT on July 3, 2019

Happy July, my fellow Oklahomans! We are mere hours away from Independence Day-- the birthday of America and yet another excuse for Oklahomans to day-drink in a boat on a weekday. Though it sure is fun to throw the US of A such a grand party on the 4th of July, sometimes you wish you could do a little more to honor our country on its special day. Thankfully, people in our state have plenty of ways to do that. So here are the 7 most patriotic ways to celebrate the 4th of July in Oklahoma!

Shoot something

Whether it’s shooting fireworks, shooting Tannerite, or just shooting the shit with other likeminded individuals out at Foss Lake, Oklahomans know there’s nothing better than popping something off on the 4^th of July.

Respect the flag

Salute the flag. Fly the flag from the tailgate of your truck. Buy an Old Navy “Old Glory 2019” t-shirt. Tie the flag around your shoulders like a Dollar General-version of Captain America. Wear an old-glory patterned string bikini. But by-God, don’t you dare kneel in front of it. That’s just disrespectful.

Thank a veteran

When is the last time you had to go to bed at night worried that the lawless, godless commies were going to take away your freedom and your Jesus at any given moment? Has it been a while? Then take some time to thank a veteran like my father-in-law, Larry. He won’t talk much about what he did overseas. But you bet your sweet ass we probably all owe him a beer because of it.

Make a patriotic playlist

Oklahoma musicians have a wide variety of songs to fuel your patriotic fire. Let our Patron Saint Reba McEntire’s song “Freedom” inspire you shake hands with a veteran. Let Garth Brooks’ performance of “America the Beautiful” remind you of all you have to be thankful for as a resident of the United State of America. Let Toby Keith’s “Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue” carry you through a night of blackout drunkenness on a pontoon boat that leads to you waking up on a dock on the other side of the lake wearing nothing but cutoff shorts and star-spangled nipple tassels.

Learn about American history

Did you know Oklahoma is home to a Civil War battle site, a military history center, and a World War II museum? Well this Independence Day, stop relying on the Oklahoma public school education you completed 15+ years ago to get you through life and learn a little bit about American history right here in Oklahoma. Plus, museums are especially good options to spend the day in if you’re still peeling from the last Frontier City sunburn.

Use your freedom of speech

My great-granddaddy didn’t go overseas to fight the fascists for nothing. So make sure you use your God-given, first amendment right of freedom of speech this Independence Day for something meaningful. Like singing “God Bless the USA (Proud to be an American),” by Lee Greenwood. Or posting patriotic memes on Facebook. Or protesting the God-forsaken concentration camps for kids at Ft. Sill.

Be proud to be an American

You can be proud of your country while holding your government to a higher standard. You can be proud of your country while continuously working to better it for future generations. Because there are many reasons why you should be proud to be an American. Not only is America home to the world’s oldest active constitution and the only country to have landed a man on the moon, but it’s also home to both Willie Nelson and Dolly Parton, which is a level of bad-ass that no other country will ever be able to achieve. But this Independence Day you shouldn’t only find a way to be proud of your country. You should also find a way to make your country proud of you.

Hayley is proud to be an American. Follow her on twitter @squirrellygeek