Every Thunder Uniform, Ranked

With a team that has been seemingly depleted of everything except for Steven Adams, a cache of draft picks and Sam Presti’s hair gel, it’s been a cruel summer for Thunder fans. For a team that has been very worried about the bottom line, ownership brass must be shaking in their snakeskin boots thinking about the potentially huge dip in ticket sales and revenue in the 2019-20 season.

But Presti and his team of geniuses have figured out a way to wrangle in fans this year: new jerseys!

Okay, that might not be the best plan, but let’s check out the new uniforms that were announced yesterday:

I’m not going to compare this summer’s roster changes to what happened on April 19, 1995 but maybe it’s not the right time to remind us of a horrible tragedy. We’re kind of sensitive right now, so this isn’t quite the moment to re-open old wounds.

As well as launching the new City Edition, the team debuted some re-tooled versions of the home, away and sunset jerseys:

We figured this would be a good time to rank all the other Thunder jerseys over the years. I’m excluding these new ones because we haven’t seen them on the court yet, and you never really know how ugly they are until you see Roberson refusing to take a wide-open 3 in one.

13) 2013 Christmas

The sleeved jerseys were a terrible idea from the start. The NBA figured they could sell more because most of us slob fans aren’t comfortable showing off our arms. Instead, they look weird pajamas or soccer kits.

12) Sleeved Pride

These look even more like soccer unis, but at least the colors kinda pop. Either way, good riddance to sleeved jerseys.

11) Navy Alternate

The only Thunder jersey I actually own is this style, but not because I like it. I just really wanted a Hasheem Thabeet jersey and it was the only style they had in the arena shop with his name on it. I have zero regrets, but it’s still so ugly that I hardly ever wear it out.

10) 2012 Christmas

There are other ones down below on this list that I would argue are uglier, but this one is just plain boring. It’s flat, the lettering isn’t particularly easy to read on the small screen, and for what has been the greatest season of the team to this day, they deserved something a little flashier for Xmas.

9) 2014 Christmas

For instance, this is such a trash jersey, but I respect the lengths that the designers went to make it look like it’s a bootleg. The whiteout name on the back is hilarious, like they printed the wrong name and had to go back over it. The balls it took to release something that looks like a cheap knockoff earned this one a higher spot on the list.

8) 2016 Christmas

This was a retooling of the previous year’s xmas day jersey, which looked snazzier, but it must have been TOO snazzy for the Thunder, so they blanded it up. We can’t have nice things here.

7) Away Blue

The ol’ tried and true Thunder blue isn’t awful, they’re just blah. Plus, I’m sure we all remember seeing these for the first time and going, “Uhhh, okay, I guess this is our basketball team?” To be fair to this and many of our other uniforms, if they could have just designed a better logo that didn’t resemble a bag of Doritos, it would solve a lot of our appearance issues.

6) 2018-19 City Alternate

I love that they went with something bold and outside the box for a change. The artistic nod to the state’s native history was a cool touch, as well. They just don’t feel like Thunder jerseys. Maybe it’s the color scheme, or the fact that they’re actually fun looking, but something just doesn’t fit right with the team’s identity.

5) 2017-18 City Alternate

The color scheme and the greyscale makes for a really cool look, but they edge a little too close to looking like a banner in front of a gas station.

4) Home White

Maybe I’ve got these ranked a little high, but they’re the classic stand-by, and there’s something comforting about being at a home game and seeing them.

3) Sunset Alternate

The team thankfully brought these orange boys back for the upcoming season, and they really look great. I’d put them at number one, but OSU fans don’t need that chip on their shoulder.

2) 2015 Christmas

Maybe I’m a sucker for the throwbacks, but how friggin’ cool were these? The colors and design is clean, the lettering is unique, just all-around classic looking. Bring these babies back and I guarantee we’ll have a winning season, or look cool trying.

1) Statement Alternate

The Statement wins out because out of all of the jerseys on this list, they look the most like a modern, professional NBA team. The staggered lettering is edgy, and the stripes on the side actually make players run faster. It’s true!

So that’s just my ranking, what are your favorites, and which belong in the trash? Sound off in the comments!