Weekend Radar

Did anyone else lose power for like four hours on Wednesday? Because that shit was awful. After a long day at work and a long night at class, I come home to a house devoid of air conditioning and functioning light fixtures.

I had to enjoy my lukewarm box-wine in the dark, like an animal.

Thanks for the “quick fix”, OGE.

Let’s get right into it, shall we?

I’ll try to refrain from sending anyone scrambling for Urban Dictionary this week, but no promises.

New World Comic Con
State Fairgrounds
Saturday, July 27th | 10 a.m. – 7 p.m.
Adults $7, Kids free

This first event one is fun for the whole family — or at least safe for the whole family. Leave your Gamer Girl Water at home, and come on down to what promises to be the best people-watching event in town.

The New World Comic Con is, in addition to being a celebration of geek culture, an opportunity for local artists and makers of rad shit to come together and seek exposure.

Now, I’ve never been to a convention of any sort, but I’ve been to a few Super Smash tournaments and Magic The Gathering dens, so I can probably provide an accurate statement on one primary feature that’ll be at this Con.

Hamster smell. Now, I know not all nerds are degenerates, but some of them smell like my bank account looks.

Bad. Very, very bad.

Image result for scrawny man in speedo

WWE Live
Chesapeake Arena
Saturday, July 27th | 7:30 p.m.

Don’t miss out on the hottest man-on-man action around this weekend! For the price of just twenty smackeroonis you can witness an entirely real, non-choreographed show of steroid-fueled strength. The belles of this ball will be Seth Rollins and Baron Corbin, who will be squaring off and beating the hell out of one another for quite a while.

But wait, there’s more! RAW Women’s and Men’s champions will be engaging in combat as well. Riveting.

I assume this will be a sold-out event, but currently there are tons of tickets available.

But, as my mother has been telling me since I was a child, “Don’t let this man distract you from the fact that in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer’s table”

Alice Cooper, Halestorm
The Zoo Amphitheatre
Sunday (lol), July 28th | 6:30 p.m.

School’s out for the summer, but shock-rock isn’t. This badass, former idol of mine will be playing a concert at the zoo, of all places. Ordinarily, the Sunday Scaries would keep me from venturing outside while Monday sneaks up, but how could I miss this?

This shit is going to melt your face.

It’s been a couple years since Alice Cooper toured in Oklahoma, but one thing never seems to change: His performances are more circus than concert. You get the point, come tear it up like it’s 1986 and your hairline is still intact.