Weekend News Recap

After a weekend like this, I’d like to turn to the the lyrics of Bob Dylan.

“How many times can a man turn his head and pretends that he just doesn’t see? The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind. The answer is blowin’ in the wind.”

Good Monday morning everyone. Let’s catch up on what you might have missed while you were busy catching up on sleep.


2 mass shootings, one weekend

Normally, I wouldn’t cover topics that aren’t involved with Oklahoma; however, this is one I’m willing to make an exception. In less than 24 hours, at least 29 people would become a statistic in the never-ending battle for gun reform. Both places- Dayton, Ohio and El Paso, Texas- have open-carry laws in their state just like us. With 249 mass shootings in 2019, even Mayor Holt is getting in on the topic.

I appreciate the words, Mr. Holt. Now let’s put this love into the form of gun reform and protective legislation. There is no more room for thoughts or prayers.


Like taking money from the elderly

As it turns out, your grandmother may have told the truth about some of the retirement village staff stealing her belongings. That is, if you live in Tulsa. After stealing $30,000 from 21 residents, I wonder if it was the new car or two extravagant vacations that tipped off the patients.


Residents protest Smart Saver closing

The final northeast OKC supermarket closed today with little notice, leaving many without a place to shop. I appreciate the effort of a good protest; that said, I don’t think anyone is going to be giving any answers to your questions. Hell, they barely gave you notice that they were closing the place down. Good luck in your grocery endeavors, my friends.


E-Scooters invade Edmond, limited in Tulsa

Good news to all the dweebs who ride these mobile chastity steeds around town- they can now be found in Edmond. As if the city wasn’t pretentious and traffic-addled enough. Now, the woke-folk of Edmond can get to places sooner to correct people on their wrong social justice lingo.

In similar new, Tulsa has had enough of the e-scooters and the bullshit they curtail to. Who could’ve thought that rules would prevent a 12-year-old kid from riding this electronic-90’s throwback on the sidewalk and possibly hurting people?


Ex OU president talks to OSBI about other Ex OU president

It’s been a while since we heard from former OU president and Wonder Bread dipped in oil, Jim Gallogly. I guess it makes sense that the first time we hear from him since the separation was him getting back at ole’ Boren. Like old, Norman Transcript times, right?


Narcotic supervisor sentenced for closely supervising narcotics

Say what you will, the man was doing his due diligence. How else was he supposed to know that the meth was legitimate if he didn’t try it? After all, these drugs will be used as evidence and he wants to ensure that no one is put away for false crimes. I hope he thinks about the justice he served while he serves his time in prison and future house arrest.

Steven’s Sports Beat

We made it to August and the Thunder has still not been traded to Canada for furs and pine 2×4’s. The funny thing about this non-news tweet is that it could be a future first round pick the Thunder has in its pocket. The Tunder are predicted to win only 34 games this season and I’m heading to Vegas in two weeks. Who wants tme to put money on the over?

Apparently the OKC Dodgers when flying to Sin City flew through a time portal votex and transported back in time to have to play face Doc Holiday on the mound. Seriously only a righty from Texas A&M would have the confidence to pull this look off.

The pretend hatred between OKC and asluT (I’m basically a teenager and always write out Tulsa backward because wouldn’t you giggle at a slut?) has been around for as long as I have lived in the metro so circa 1991. It mostly has to the cross-state sports rivalry. The 89’ers, for those of you old enough to remember them playing at the state fair ballpark, and the Blazers hockey team. Now there’s a pretend rivalry with the soccer teams to drum up pub for the new sales tax to build the Energy a stadium. If not the Energy then maybe a Major League Soccer team, but that’s not a guarantee (although it did work out well for the Hornets/Thunder). What else do we have to lose, and besides if you show up this week in public support you can get a free Energy scarf and look like a Harry Potter extra.

Baker better get his Heisman statue soon or they’ll going to have to make it on a bigger scale than all the others. If he keeps this up he’s going to be a god in Cleveland and the metro will miss out on Mayfield Dodge and Baker BBQ on every corner.

The team might be healthy, but so is that sweet Kuntucky waterfall on the back of Coach Gundy’s head is impressive. Can the season just get here already please?

Brandon would rather play D&D than do most things. Follow him on Twitter @notshabbywriter and Instagram @brandonking1994.