Rough Oklahoma road guarantees to rattle dentures and jiggle breasts…

Shitty roads are as connected to Oklahoma life as DUI’s are for Republican lawmakers.

Seriously, a defining moment for any Okie native or newcomer is to hit a pothole so directly that you apologize to your car. The thing that’s surprising in all of this is that driver’s can’t go anywhere in this state without running into some sort of construction. And yet, drivers still have to drive around potholes like a rousing round of Mario Kart.

While we groan and complain online, people from Dewey County District 3 took it upon themselves to warn drivers in the best Oklahoma fashion.


Residents in a western Oklahoma community have some unique ways to bring attention to a rough road.

KOCO 5 viewer John Dean shared photos of a sign spotted on a road between Camargo to Webb in Dewey County, Oklahoma. The sign reads, “Roughest road in Dewey County District 3, next 12 miles. Remove dentures and tighten bra straps.”

Dean also shared photos showing flowers being planted in several potholes on the roadway.

Well done, Dewey County residents. Well done.

Slightly off topic, but I remember having a conversation with an ODOT spokesperson while working on a story for another publication. After 30 minutes, the guy told me that most of the road work repair is just quick concrete and will most likely have to be replaced within a year. I told the man that the “solution” sounded more like a band-aid on a bullet wound. His response: “Hey, gotta get done what you can.”

Anyways, here’s more:

KOCO 5 reached out to the District 3 commissioner, who said the road conditions deteriorated due to flooding. District officials said they do have plans to repair the road but do not have an estimate on when it can be fixed.

Imagine their protest chants…

“What do we have?”

“Broken roads!”

“When can we fix them?”

*everyone shrugs.*

Honestly, I think the people of Dewey County have this situation handled. To hell with bureaucracy, am I right? Hopefully, those people can better roads before the weather gods attempt to flood us out again.

Speaking of old roads, Brandon thinks Lil Nas X’s “Old Town Road” is the definition of over-hype horseshit. Follow him on Twitter @notshabbywriter and Instagram @brandonking1994.