No child in the city: Oklahoma ranked the 5th worst place to have a baby.

Since I’m now 27, I find myself being more mindful, knowledgeable, and mature when it comes to discussing family planning for myself and my loved ones. For example, now if a friend tells me she’s pregnant, I know I’m supposed to answer with “congratulations” rather than “oh shit, what are you going to do?”

Unfortunately, though the decision to procreate can be a great one, it turns out Oklahoma isn’t the greatest state to make that decision in.


OKLAHOMA – A study has ranked Oklahoma once again as the 5th worst state to have a baby.

On Monday, personal-finance website WalletHub released its ‘2019’s Best & Worst States to Have a Baby.’

Last year, WalletHub ranked Oklahoma as the 5th worst state to have a baby.

Fifth worst state to have a baby? I think WalletHub is being a little unfair to Oklahoma. What are they basing these stats off of, anyway? Highest concentration of Babies R US (still a store) per state? Best non-wheat field landscape backgrounds for Instagram-able maternity shoots?

WalletHub says they compared the 50 states, and the District of Columbia, across 30 key measures of cost, health care accessibility and baby- and family- friendliness. The data set ranges from hospital conventional-delivery charges to annual average infant-care costs to pediatricians per capita.

Ah… Well unfortunately for Oklahoma, all of those factors should probably be taken into consideration before deciding to have a baby in anywhere. But like I said, I don’t think WalletHub gives Oklahoma enough credit. In fact, there are many reasons Oklahoma is a great state in which to have a baby! For starters…

1. Walmarts appear to be great daycare options

I mean, every time I go to Walmart, I see at least 5-7 unaccompanied children under the age of 6 galloping through the aisles. They seem to be making it okay.

2. You can soon bring toddlers into Oklahoma liquor stores

After 9 months of abstinence from booze during pregnancy, mamas need a drink. Hell, after about 5+ minutes of parenting most mamas and papas need a drink. And Oklahoma understands that, which is why minors will soon be allowed in liquor stores with their guardians.

3. Oklahoma is cheap

From diapers and formula, to these funky ass body pillows and nipple creams that all my pregnant friends are into these days, there’s a lot of expensive stuff that babies require. Thank God Oklahoma is the third cheapest state to live in, so those costs should balance out. That’s how economics work, right?

4. The education

With the way education funding is going in this state, by the time your baby is old enough for school the district will probably still be using the same textbooks you used as a kid. So, it will make it a lot easier for you to help your child with their homework!

5. Oklahoma has the best gender reveal parties

Only in Oklahoma can you buy mystery “pink or blue” Tannerite to shoot and reveal if you’re giving birth to a tiara or a tractor.

Hayley is the proud mother of two cats and aunt of 9 nieces and nephews. Follow her on twitter @squirrellygeek

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21 Responses

  1. “oh [sic] shit, [sic] what [sic]are you going to do?”

    Bwahahahaha. I so remember those days! And that is the ONLY response that I man can give!

    Funny read.

  2. As long as this ONCE GREAT STATE continues to be “governed” or whatever the hell else you can call it by these right wing morons these rankings will continue to get even worse!
    I’d bet there’s one category we’d be near the top of…guns per capita…we should be so proud! Kids dumber than rocks, low wages, elder abuse, child abuse, sex perverted and corrupt”officials”, more incarcerated (nothing to do with gun laws wink, wink)…but by GOD we have the most guns per person than anywhere else…and by GOD we can carry them anywhere …what more could a new parent and their newborn want or need!!

    1. I would have thought Oklahoma would be at the top of the guns per capita list also, but after doing a little looking online, surprise, Oklahoma is 23rd, or 18.3 firearms per 1,000 people. Good neighbor Arkansas is 8th with 26.5 firearms per 1,000 people.

      Am thinking those that do pack (and soon carry everywhere) are more of a very vocal minority than what is thought. The true test will be how the voter referendum will be to overturn the recently passed law. The Bill passed 70-30 in the House and 40-6, so it appears few in the Legislature opposed the idea. I hope there is a vote, just to see if the public is in sync with those they elected.

      On a positive note there will be a ton of money pouring into the state to persuade everyone to vote against it, and we know how this state needs any money it can get.

      1. In Oklahoma, we don’t need to own a whole arsenal to be overly attached to the few guns that we DO own. We carry them everywhere!

        Some Oklahoma enthusiasts even sleep with their guns! There’s nothing like a cold steel barrel on a hot summer night. But winter brings other challenges. Cuddle close to keep her warm!

    2. Said so well ! Every word so true !

    3. Aw, that’s so cute – the guy with the homophobic sign-on talking about perverted officials. They probably suck dicks, huh, Trumpsuxdix?

  3. “Fake News” I thinking the states where the greatest number of number of babies are killed are the worst and i will bet that many cities far outdo OKC in babies murdered. The local lefties should encourage more baby murderers in OKC, that would be “cool”.

    1. Do you care about babies AFTER they are born?

  4. Yet another example of Oklahoma being a top 10 state.

  5. I am a father of 2 sons and have lived here in Oklahoma Lawton ft sill to be exact and the laws regarding children and custody favor the paternal father in no way the law is si fucking blind to these bullshit ass one sided law that’s bias toward just the mother and do not take the best interest of the child in mind fuck Oklahoma and the cops

  6. Just recently relocated from California to Oklahoma, my experience thus far, human kindness still exists every where you go, people take the time to say hello, and of course, GAS prices in Oklahoma are the best across the country $1.99 per gallon in some areas and $2.16 per gallon in several areas, compared to $3.69 and higher per gallon in the state I left, California! As for having a baby in California, I wouldn’t recommend it, cost of living, RIDICULOUS! You want grocery bags? $$$ pay up , too much to mention, and my personal opinion, the majority of people are ASSHOLES!

    1. You said nice things about Oklahoma.!!
      You are Clearly on the wrong site but welcome!

      My new neighbors also just moved here from California and have nothing but nice things to say. They are shocked that people are polite and courteous and generous.

      Go figure.

      Life is as good as you make it.

  7. Maybe Hayley can move to hipster paradise like San Francisco or Los Angeles and avoid stepping over homeless people and piles of poop along with the used needles that litter the sidewalk. What s great place to have a baby and raise children.🙄

  8. I wanted to have kids but unfortunately I possess a too-effective method of birth control: my personality.

  9. In Oklahoma, sitting your child in front of a television or computer is considered a cultured upbringing.

    Desperate fruits of desperate lives.

  10. The trouble with the “cool” Oklahoma hater faux journalists is that they have never been out of Oklahoma. I suggest they travel to Baltimore, Philly, San Fran, etc, etc,. Get out of moms basement, catch a Greyhound and report back.

    1. According to another of your recent comments, they need only to travel to “North Tulsa” for that eye-opening experience.

      I’m starting to see your pattern…

    2. The difference between the cities you mention and Oklahoma, is merely one of concentration versus dissipation.

      A degenerate is a degenerate, whether on an urban sidewalk stoop or a dirt road.

  11. What a misleading headline. It’s the fifth worst place to HAVE a baby? Ob/Gyns won’t give mothers the good dope while birthing? We use our teeth to cut the umbilical cord? Bushel baskets are the bassinet of choice for most hospitals? Oh well my little bundles of joy are all adults adulting now. But RAISING kids in Oklahoma ain’t so great either.

    1. After the birth, you still HAVE the baby to take home with you. Right? And you HAVE it with you as it lives with you as you raise it.

      As I pointed out to Sooner Magic, babies continue to exist after they are born.

  12. From all the horror stories on local TV daily, it is very likely the worst place to ACTUALLY BE a baby…..Oklahoma!

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