We are right on the heels of what is easily my favorite thing since cannabis — the Blue Whale Comedy Festival — where I am lucky enough to be performing this weekend in Tulsa!
Not everyone is as happy about it.
Conservatives — who haven’t forgiven Michelle Wolf’s savage takedown of Donald Trump (and his goons) at the 2018 White House Correspondents Dinner — are pissed she’s the headliner of this year’s Blue Whale Comedy Festival. So sad.
As an open-micer who was recently accepted into his first comedy festival (this one!) I am proud to give you this inside scoop on Blue Whale. Ever sensitive to the plight of butt-hurt conservatives, I have devised a rating system to serve as a trigger warning for the showcases, comedians and parties likely to offend Trump fans. We even made it easy for visual learners who aren’t so good at words:
Here’s some can’t-miss stuff on deck for the 2019 Blue Whale Comedy Festival, along with a rating — on a scale of 1 to 5 Trump heads — of how triggered Trump supporters are likely to be:
KICK-OFF PARTY ft. Jackie Tohn (of Netflix’s Glow)
Every great thing has a beginning, and the Blue Whale Comedy Festival is no different! I highly suggest making it to the kickoff event Thursday night with Jackie Tohn! If you don’t already know her from the Netflix series Glow, you can watch her rock out as an American Idol finalist in this clip! Anyone who can piss off Simon but make Paula dance is a legend in my book.
Jackie Tohn is an incredibly successful woman, born from a Jewish family, currently starring in a hit show about women wrestlers in the 80s. For this reason, I’m gonna give her a solid 4 on the MAGA Mad Meter!
Oh, and, uh, I’m the opening act on this show; come say hi!
At Least One OKLAHOMA SHOWCASE!
The Oklahomie Showcase is a platform given to local comedians to showcase their talent and hard work at a full-fledged comedy festival!
Doing stand-up comedy is hard. It’s difficult to describe what it’s like to get on stage and tell a joke you’ve spent weeks writing and — instead of laughter — you are greeted with the drunk guy in the corner telling you to “go eat a dick,” and then you find out, later, the drunk guy is another comedian.
This will be a very diverse showcase, with something for everyone. And it’s FREE! Unfortunately, neither of these qualities will play well with the MAGA crowd — we all know how they feel about diversity, acceptance and free stuff (godless socialists). Thus, I’m giving Oklahomie Showcase a 3 out of 5 on the MAGA Mad Meter.
COMIC KARAOKE: Official Afterparty
A wise man once said, “ain’t no party like the afterparty.” That man was clearly talking about Comic Karaoke.
If you’re into silly stuff or, like me, plan on being higher than a beached blue whale after a miscalculation with dynamite, then I’ve got four words that should immediately catch your attention: Comedians. Drunkenly. Singing. Karaoke. Bonus points: You get to party with the comics after the shows!
At first, I couldn’t think of one reason this event would even register on the MAGA Mad Meter. I mean, who doesn’t like the afterparty? Then the answer dawned on me: people who probably weren’t invited to many (all so very sad). The danger of triggering the repressed trauma of having no friends in high school pushes the afterparty to at least 2.5 on the meter.
Oh, wow. I saved this one for last, lest we be held liable for triggering cromagnon craniums to explode on sight.
Michelle Wolf is a fucking legend. How could I not highlight the woman who ran a masterclass in the art of roasting politicians on national television!
This wonderful woman very publicly compared Ivanka Trump to a Diaper Genie: “She’s the Diaper Genie of the administration. On the outside, she looks sleek but the inside — it’s still full of shit.” For this comment alone, Michelle Wolf clocks a firm 6.5 out of 5 on the MAGA Mad Meter.
The Blue Whale Comedy Festival is an amazing time. I’ve spent the past few years attending as a volunteer. But if I weren’t lucky enough to be chosen to perform, you better believe I would sign up for trash duty, if it meant I could be a part of it again.
These are just of a few of the events happening this weekend. You can buy tickets and see the full line up at the official Blue Whale Comedy Festival website!
—Trever just scored his first stand-up gig at a comedy festival, which basically makes him the supreme authority on all things comedy. #credentials
*Blue Whale Comedy Fest is a Lost Ogle advertiser and we love them for it.