OSU doctors duct-tape turtle to skateboard, call it science.

Although the main two state universities in Oklahoma are known more for football than educational studies, it turns out these schools actually provide more than just amateur sports for people to scream about for half of the year.

It’s doubtful Regular Jim Traber will be talking about this on his radio show, but OSU’s veterinary department has been helping disabled animals. There was a viral story in January about how they helped out an adorable puppy that was unfortunately born with backwards paws. Now, these professionals have turned their sights to a cute, cold-blooded friend.

Check it out:

Look man, I know this is an aggie school and all, but there’s gotta be a more medically sound treatment than, “Welp, just duct-tape that sucker to a skateboard, watch em go!” At least use blue medical tape or something. Then again, the only thing I know about every OSU grad I’ve ever met is they carry around beer koozies with them everywhere they go, so duct taping a turtle isn’t too shocking.

The other treatment they are offering Radar is to put him in a plastic bin and throw him on top of a washing machine while it cleans their lab coats or whatever.

I’m no scientist, so I can’t begin to debunk the validity of this treatment, but it also seems pretty low-budget. Just because you caught your cousin sitting on top of the Kenmore and she was having a great time doesn’t mean it works out for making turtles walk again. But if it works, that’s a twofer — get some laundry done and heal a lizard at the same time, very efficient.

One thing that is comforting is that with the backwards paw pup, it sounds like they did actual surgery instead of taping pair of roller skates to the poor critter’s legs. But if the skateboard turtle is what OSU is willing to show us, one must wonder about the Island of Dr. Moreau-level abominations they have writhing around in the vaults behind the scenes.