It’s now legal for Oklahoma women to go topless in public…

Boobs. Jugs. Titties. Tits. Fun bags. Cha-chas. Breasts. Everyone has them. Patrick has them. My grandma has them. Governor Stitt has them. Even I have them. But for some reason, only half of the people on this list have the ability to bare their breasts outside of the home. Even though women typically have more business being bare breasted (ex. Breastfeeding), men are often allowed to be shirtless in public places while women are not. But thanks to a court ruling, that could all soon change.

Via News on 6

TULSA, Oklahoma – It is now legal for women to go topless in public in Oklahoma and five other states.

The ruling made in the Colorado case affects Oklahoma, Wyoming, Kansas, New Mexico and Utah…

This means women can walk down the street, gather at a public park, or perhaps even go topless at a public swimming pool…

This ruling applies to public places like the street and the courthouse plaza, but public buildings and private businesses can still have a policy that says everyone has to be clothed before they’re allowed inside.

The article goes on to interview a Tulsa police sergeant, who voiced concerns that women “exposing” themselves is going to lead to an increase in sexual assaults. Well in case there’s any confusion about what this law actually allows, let’s talk about 5 things Oklahoma’s new topless law doesn’t give you the right to do, including…


1. The right to touch a woman’s breasts without permission

Just because a woman decides to forgo a shirt, it doesn’t give you the right to grab her breasts without permission. If you think it’s okay to go around grabbing chests just because you don’t see 1/8th of an inch of fabric covering them, you’re probably a bigger menace to society than bare breasts will ever be.

2. The right to throw beads at women at women in Bricktown

Just because women have the right to take off their tops, doesn’t mean they all want to be poked, prodded and solicited to take off their tops.

3. The right to sexualize breasts

The “debate” on whether or not women should be “allowed” to show her breasts in public sexualizes women and affects their ability to feed their children. And yet the old argument I’ve heard some men make throughout this is, “If a woman can openly bare her chest in public, then why can’t I take my penis out in public?” Well that’s because 1. You also get to be topless and 2. Babies don’t eat from dicks, ya goddamn sex offender.

4. The right to judge a woman for baring her chest

Women may choose to go topless for a number of reasons, including 1. They are satisfied in their own skin. 2. It’s comfy. 3. They’re breastfeeding. And 4. The Oklahoma heat + a bra = enough underboob sweat to drown the entire town of Atoka. That’s just a simple science fact.

5. The right to be proud of your body

Women in Oklahoma had that right long before this law was in place.

What’s your favorite word for breasts? Follow Hayley on twitter @squirrellygeek

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39 Responses

  1. “5. The right to be proud of your body

    Women in Oklahoma had that right long before this law was in place.”

    Too bad it’s gonna be like the nudist beaches, where only old men and dudes with big dongs hang out. Women that should be taking their bras off won’t, and the ones that should stay at home will fully embrace this new “law” to the fullest extent. You can be proud of your body without exposing the public at large to your fully depreciated “assets.”

    1. Most people don’t want to be required to hide that of which they are proud.

      What makes ViX believe that (younger) men with “big dongs” are the only males who hang out at nude beaches and titty bars, looking for glimpses of forbidden female anatomy?

      My guess is that small-membered males are more likely to frequent such places, the more generously-endowed already having more satisfying encounters with female breasts.

      Like the Ukrainegate whistleblower, my information about this is only hearsay. Like the Ukrainegate whistleblower, that doesn’t make my information wrong.

      There are already plenty of disgusting topless male bodies already on view at swimming pools etc. So how could some less-than-attractive topless female bodies spoil the ambiance for anyone?

      1. 👍

    2. Well clearly women are only here to amuse you. If only there were some kind of social movement that could point you in the direction of equality…..

      1. Hol’ up. Are you saying you’d actually enjoy seeing bare land whales on the street? With all the “men do it all the time” talk, I don’t see many man boobs scaring wives and children on the streets, thankfully.

        1. It’s not a question of what you would enjoy, or not enjoy. Because it isn’t all about you.

          Do bare breasts frighten you? Get a grip, bro.

          1. Yo, neckbeard. I got deez in the mail for you.

  2. Have you seen the average woman in Oklahoma?
    There should be a few more rules.

    1. Have you seen some of the men around here who are already topless? You’ve clearly missed the point here.

    2. Lol, my boobs are so huge!!!! I can’t wait To get the courage to walk around with no shirt on and get away with it. Thanks for caring

  3. Seeing as I was not breastfed…. tits, boobs, mams, funbags, ta tas, are all appropriate terms when referring to women’s breast in public ….. I can say “nice breast” as she walks by topless? Or, “hey you’ve got spectacular tities”…

    1. Arriving at work early one morning, I complimented one of my female co-workers who was walking in front of me. I didn’t say “nice ass.” I said “nice shoes.” She was delighted, and I think I made her my friend forever.

      Bazz – if I were you, I wouldn’t make comments about women’s bodies. Not at all – not ever. Think what you will, but keep your mouth shut.

      When you grow up, perhaps you will learn more about this.

      1. Keep my mouth shut!?! You’ve got to be kidding… If I am complemented, one accepts that…. if I am insulted one accepts that…. but if I comment and said recipient is complemented or insulted …. who’s to blame? The one who went topless or the one who didn’t go topless? I see a star bellied sneech in your post …..

  4. One point towards equality. Congrats to the women of Oklahoma.
    For a person to execute on options there is a requirement for a person to HAVE the options first.
    I’m shocked….THIS, weed, 6pt beer….Oklahoma is consorting with the DEVIL for sure!
    Bury the 1950’s…that’s the goal, thankfully.

    1. I’ve lived here all my life and Oklahoma is just now starting to win me over also. hehe

  5. I’m a fan.

  6. I forgot the term “yams” … for instance… “gee Mrs. Cleaver you got some great yams”…

  7. Hayley, you handled this weighty topic quite well.

  8. My wife says that if women want the same rights as men, then they accept the same responsibilities of men… men need to stop at the comment… women need to accept the comment…. whether they feel insulted or complimented ….. who’s to say

  9. What I would like to see… is all the ogle women topless on the singing swings at the park…

    1. Yep. Pics too or didn’t happen.

  10. Much like the Constitutional Carry issue, the line between proponent and opposition will be redrawn depending on the person wanting to exercise that right. Topless females: youthful, perky and cute? Yes! Older, saggy and obese? No way! Gun carry: 25-30 year old male in jeans and button down who also happens to be white? Good guy, yes! 25-30 year old male with baseball cap and high dollar kicks and oh yeah, the guy is black or Hispanic? Maybe we should require some rules, you never really know someone!

    The good news for me with this law is that for the next OU White Out game I won’t have to buy another damned white shirt, just pass the sunscreen, yo.

    1. Yes, bring on the sun screen…. ain’t that the truth

    2. Exactly

  11. And :O how will ladies open carry firearms topless ? What’s a lady to to do…

  12. the only women who will walk around topless will be women in their 50s and 60s

    1. I know that for a fact, not to be true..

    2. I doubt it. Women of a certain age have more morals than that. Besides if you don’t support them with a bra they lose their appeal.

      1. Women of a certain age have ? Morals ? And at what age does that occur? I go topless outside and it’s 28 degrees…. do I complain?

  13. CARL FROM “SLINGBLADE”: I wuz in Oklerhoma one time, mmmmmm hmmmm, and I was fixin’ to buy some French-fried taters at this-here place, mmmmmmm hmmmm, and I looked over and I seen this gal without no shirt on, mmmmmm hmmm. She didn’t have no swimsuit top or no bra on, neither. Mmmmmmm hmmm. At first I thought she done forgot her shirt at home. One time I had a dream I wuz in school, mmmmmmm hmmmm, but I didn’t have no pants on. I was just a-sittin’ there in my underwear and nobody noticed, so I reckon it was the same for her. So I et my French-fried taters and looked at the nekkid woman, then I went back to the house and watched television.

  14. “You only got a discount for that … because I shaked my titties….” my wife

  15. Let the sun never set on Oklahoma tit.

  16. For those titillated by this topic and the prospect of seeing topless women everywhere, I feel compelled to burst your funbag. Very, very few women (almost none) will bare their chests in public as result of this ruling. If they really wanted to, this issue would have been decided years ago. You’re more likely to see the state legislature (a collection of boobs) go blue than see bare and unbridled boobs flouncing rampantly across Oklahoma.

    Still a nice topic for an obscure, snarky blog site. Good article Hayley.

  17. Boobs are boobs! Older, obese women let em fly I say. I’m not one to judge. Not one to be vocal about compliments or insults either. Nobody is making them bear chest, it’s their decision.

    1. I definitely don’t want to see any bear-chested women.

  18. This is going to make my name much easier.

  19. Buffalo woman won’t you come out tonight…..

  20. Buffalo woman won’t you come out tonight….

  21. I’ve always predicted the Oklahoma would de-evolve. And poof! It happened. We say we that we value diversity, but bare breasted women in public are certainly offensive to many diverse cultures. Think about it…. Islam, even tribes in Africa, etc.

    Also, I would point out that it is bad for breast health. Going without a bra too much results in drooping boobs around the age of 40. They may want to show them now, but they won’t want anyone to see them later.

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