Attorney General Hunter wants kids to get booze the old fashioned way

Underage drinking is a right of passage for any teen. Hell, a few pals and I used to pay a friend in cash to go down to a liquor store in Yukon for the biggest, cheapest beer and booze he could find. Of course, it was still Oklahoma; that meant a ton of low-point beer, Four Lokos, and trashcan punch followed by mornings filled with silent regret. Even back in the early 2010’s, we used to dream about being able to buy all of it online discreetly.

Now that it’s available, some state-narcs are trouncing all the fun for the future Oklahoma delinquents.


An Oklahoma leader is calling on major sites like Facebook, Craigslist and eBay to make a change.

Oklahoma Attorney General Mike Hunter sent a letter to the websites, asking them to take more proactive measures to stop the sale of alcohol online.

The letter was part of a coalition of 46 attorneys general who are asking the companies to review current postings for online alcohol sales, remove illegal postings and develop programming to block and prevent users from violating state laws.

“This isn’t just about violating state laws, it’s about protecting the health and wellbeing of Oklahomans,” Attorney General Hunter said. “Illegally sold alcohol thwarts state licensing laws that ensure the substances aren’t tainted and are coming from a reputable vendor. The substances being sold illegally could originate anywhere and could contain deadly substances, like methanol. As we work with Facebook, Craigslist and eBay to crack down on this issue, I am encouraging Oklahomans to use extreme caution when purchasing alcohol online.”

Mr. Hunter, isn’t purchasing illegally sold alcohol the whole point of underage drinking? Or are you just wanting them to get alcohol the way you used to do it? C’mon, you remember being a kid here in this state, right? It can often feel like the Star Wars planet Tatooine except worse, because there’s no Cantina bands or Han and Chewbacca. Why not go full Footloose and ban dancing while you’re at it?

Here’s more:

Except for wine, alcohol cannot be purchased online or shipped in Oklahoma.

So, basically we’re looking for teens with the same wine problem as an Oklahoma mother of two?

Look, Oklahomans are going to find one way or another to get blasted drunk. You may be on the high of defeating the pharmaceutical companies, but you’ll never stop teens from finding booze.

I’ll extend an olive branch: we can get teens to stop purchasing alcohol online if you lower the drinking age back to 18-years-old. Sound fair? If teens are going to have abide by every backwards thinking law Oklahoma has to offer, the least you can do is give them a beer to cope with it.