While most people across the country equate the last week of November with pies, turkey, and familial obligations, Oklahomans also associate the weekend after Thanksgiving with BEDLAM: the annual football game between Oklahoma State and the University of Oklahoma. Though the game is a big deal for alumni and non-alumni alike, the truth is Oklahomans don’t have to wait until the end of November take sides in an epic competition. Here are 7 other intense rivalries in Oklahoma!
Nichols Hills Cops vs Anyone Driving a Car Older Than a 2017 Model
Unless it’s during the Christmas season when the Nichols Hills class puts on a fancy light show for us lowly peasants, you cannot be caught driving anything but a 2020 Range Rover in Nichols Hills on any given day. All you may be wanting to do is find a short cut to Penn, but all Nichols Hills cops seem to want to do is pull cars over to remind drivers they’re too poor to be there. Suspicious.
Rural Oklahomans vs the Mythical Entity Hell-Bent on Taking Their Guns
Like the Boogie Monster or Chupacabra, everyone in Oklahoma has heard the urban legend of the liberal socialist feminist monster who is coming to take away all guns and leave Oklahomans defenseless against the communists or whatever. But like every urban legend, this mythical entity only instills irrational fear and doesn’t seem to be an actual threat.
23rd Street Millennial Hipsters vs 40-Year Residents
All the millennial hipsters want to do is breathe new life into a historic area of Oklahoma City with innovative restaurants and quirky bars. All the long-term residents want to do is be able to walk along 23rd street without having to dodge some IPA enthusiast on a fixie riding willy-nilly on the sidewalk.
Ragweed vs Every Oklahoman
There may be nearly 4 million residents in this state, but one single ragweed plant can produce about 1 billion pollen grains. The human race has made a lot of life-saving advances in medicine and technology over the past few centuries, yet no Oklahoman is immune to the terror caused by high ragweed pollen count on a dry-as-hell Oklahoma day.
The Pothole on Penn & 145th and Everyone Commuting to Work Today
Like the Hydra in Greek mythology, the more we strike the pothole the stronger it gets.
Bob Barker vs the Oklahoma City Zoo
In 2015 The Price is Right’s own Bob Barker created this rivalry when he spoke out against relocating elephants to the OKC Zoo from Seattle, calling the move “a mistake” due to Oklahoma’s climate reportedly being too cold for Asian elephants to thrive and the gentle giants not enjoying Megadeth concerts at the Amphitheater as much as you’d think.
The Lost Ogle vs Anonymous Twitter Profiles
Nothing ruffles we contributors’ feathers more than twitter commenters, with no profile pictures or followers, using their very first tweet to call us out on social media for satirical articles they most definitely didn’t read all the way through.
Go Pokes. Follow Hayley on twitter @squirrellygeek