If there are two things every Oklahoman is good at when it comes to the holidays, it’s getting drunk and making sure there’s 42 dishes of green bean casserole at every dinner. If there’s two things KFOR’s very own Chef Kyle is good at, it’s making coworkers roll their eyes and showing the average Okie how to make a damn good appetizer. So if you want to change-up your go-to holiday dish this year, but are worried that holiday-drinking will make it difficult to navigate a new recipe calling for more than 3 ingredients, you’re in luck! Here are the best Chef Kyle recipes to make while drunk.
Pumpkin (not spice) Mousse
Any asshat can mix together canned pumpkin, cream, sugar, and spice. Including you, you drunk son-of-a-gun. And as much as it seems to irritate the living hell out of Chef Kyle in the cooking video, you can probably substitute the “create your own pumpkin spice” recipe by having your teenage nephew drive you to Walmart for a $4 Great Value pumpkin spice seasoning container.
Sweet and Spicy Candied Bacon
Best case scenario, you keep your wits about you well after your third “adult” eggnog and use 4 ingredients to impress your family with this sweet bacony treat. Worst case scenario, you pass out before the cooking even gets started and nobody is going to be mad at the cousin who only brings a pack of bacon.
The World’s Best and Easiest Cranberry Sauce
Okay, maybe your inebriated self shouldn’t be trusted to measure out and boil the 6 different ingredients in Chef Kyle’s recipe, let alone wait for the mixture to cool before shoving it in your mouth without some other adult’s supervision. But you can still make this “easiest” sauce, as long as you just substitute the whole recipe for a can of 69-cent Ocean Spray Cranberry Sauce.
10 Minute Coleslaw
Because this recipe is mayonnaise-based like every other classic Oklahoma holiday dish and doesn’t require steps that could easily lead to your drunk self leaving the stove unattended, Chef Kyle’s 10 minute coleslaw is your best bet for fulfilling your cooking duties without sacrificing your booze or creating a kitchen fire.
Parmesan Toasts for the Holidays
Slather that thick slice of carby goodness with butter and dunk it in enough Kraft parmesan shaker cheese to make it look like the snow that fell on the tiny decorative Christmas village sitting on your grandma’s mantle. For a kick, add some cayenne and bake it. Chef Kyle said he was reluctant to give out this super secret recipe. With only 3-4 ingredients necessary to make it, it’s the perfect recipe for a day drinker with the working memory of goldfish.
Hayley is a pro at Parmesan Toasts for the Holidays. Follow her on twitter @squirrellygeek