The OKC Streetcar celebrates first year of cumbersome existence…

Before it ventures into the new decade, OKC has time for one last self-indulgent pat on the back. This time, it’s in the form of everyone’s least favorite MAPS 3 project.

Via KFOR.com:

Residents have been sharing the road with the OKC streetcars for a whole year now. EMBARK told News 4 the cars have averaged more than 35,000 rides each month and nearly half a million riders all year.

“We love them. It’s a great way to get around the city. It really helps save on trying to find a parking place and it’s pretty fast. It gets you to where you need to go,” said Robert and Susan Wood, who live in Oklahoma City.

Yeah, a slow-moving train that goes on a 4.8-mile loop transporting ghosts, ninjas and Hollow Man around downtown is a “great way to get around the city.” I’m sure the people taking the bus from 10th and Penn to the Belle Isle Walmart agree. Also, I hope nobody tells Robert and Susan about Uber and Lyft. Their minds will be blown!

In all fairness, the OKC Streetcar has taught us a lot of lessons. They include…

Don’t count on the OKC Streetcar to be a reliable form of transportation

Will it be here in 5 minutes? Will I have to wait until 2020 just to go a few blocks to get to TapWerks? You’d have better luck predicting Oklahoma’s weather or the next round of layoffs at The Oklahoman.

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There’s no longer a need for Bricktown horse-drawn carriages

These over-hyped Cinderella rides showcase the state’s cringe-worthy need to cling to whatever was considered cool in the past. True story, my fiance once told me that if I ever got her a carriage ride on a date, she would hope that the horse killed her before anyone saw her get into the carriage.

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Beware of Cardboard Jim Traber

Legend has it, the cardboard cutout of Jim Traber still rides the OKC Streetcar late at night in search of prime photo-ops and free, over-hyped concerts. Even as cardboard, Traber is still enough of a jackass to take two seats on public transportation.

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Oklahoma drivers still don’t know how to drive

In January, The Lost Ogle concluded that Oklahoma City drivers may be too dumb to drive around the OKC Streetcar. Almost a year later, this has only been proven further. It’s not like a massive Pepto-Bismol-colored streetcar is hard to miss, right? Right?!

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The Wrath of Steve Lackmeyer

Oklahoma’s favorite curmudgeon was one of the first to shit all over the new transportation less than a month from its opening. Timeliness is key to Lackmeyer; after all, how else will he have time to yell at hot-dog stands if he’s waiting for the streetcar?

Find Brandon avoiding streetcars on Instagram and Twitter @brandonking1994 and @notshabbywriter.