Before it ventures into the new decade, OKC has time for one last self-indulgent pat on the back. This time, it’s in the form of everyone’s least favorite MAPS 3 project.
Residents have been sharing the road with the OKC streetcars for a whole year now. EMBARK told News 4 the cars have averaged more than 35,000 rides each month and nearly half a million riders all year.
“We love them. It’s a great way to get around the city. It really helps save on trying to find a parking place and it’s pretty fast. It gets you to where you need to go,” said Robert and Susan Wood, who live in Oklahoma City.
Yeah, a slow-moving train that goes on a 4.8-mile loop transporting ghosts, ninjas and Hollow Man around downtown is a “great way to get around the city.” I’m sure the people taking the bus from 10th and Penn to the Belle Isle Walmart agree. Also, I hope nobody tells Robert and Susan about Uber and Lyft. Their minds will be blown!
In all fairness, the OKC Streetcar has taught us a lot of lessons. They include…
Don’t count on the OKC Streetcar to be a reliable form of transportation
Will it be here in 5 minutes? Will I have to wait until 2020 just to go a few blocks to get to TapWerks? You’d have better luck predicting Oklahoma’s weather or the next round of layoffs at The Oklahoman.
There’s no longer a need for Bricktown horse-drawn carriages
These over-hyped Cinderella rides showcase the state’s cringe-worthy need to cling to whatever was considered cool in the past. True story, my fiance once told me that if I ever got her a carriage ride on a date, she would hope that the horse killed her before anyone saw her get into the carriage.
Beware of Cardboard Jim Traber
Legend has it, the cardboard cutout of Jim Traber still rides the OKC Streetcar late at night in search of prime photo-ops and free, over-hyped concerts. Even as cardboard, Traber is still enough of a jackass to take two seats on public transportation.
Oklahoma drivers still don’t know how to drive
In January, The Lost Ogle concluded that Oklahoma City drivers may be too dumb to drive around the OKC Streetcar. Almost a year later, this has only been proven further. It’s not like a massive Pepto-Bismol-colored streetcar is hard to miss, right? Right?!
The Wrath of Steve Lackmeyer
Oklahoma’s favorite curmudgeon was one of the first to shit all over the new transportation less than a month from its opening. Timeliness is key to Lackmeyer; after all, how else will he have time to yell at hot-dog stands if he’s waiting for the streetcar?