There’s a sigh of relief that comes with the end of a year like 2019, and the nail-biting anxiety that comes with staring down the cold barrel of 2020, which is going to be a political nightmare.
But before we face the ensuing mudfight for American power, let’s take a breather and look back at the top stories from your favorite and most trusted obscure local social blog, The Lost Ogle. Over the next several days, we’ll be digging through the archives for each month and remembering some of our funniest, craziest, and most popular articles.
Let’s begin with January…
Published: January 2, 2019
What We Said:Steve should take some personal responsibility and admit that depending on a brand-new, glitchy streetcar that’s only been in operation a few weeks to maneuver you around the cold streets of Oklahoma City on the busiest night of the year isn’t the best idea. That’s as smart as a college kid getting into the newspaper business! If you’re freezing your ass off for 30 minutes waiting for a crowded train to take you three blocks down the street, that’s on you.
What We Learned: We already knew that Steve Lackmeyer is a curmudgeon. But he does have a point, that the crazy expensive choo-choo’s we bought came with some problems. Also, the Photoshop of Steve wearing a beret is one of Patrick’s most genius creations IMO.
Published: January 15, 2019
What We Said: Although Stitt is an alleged Oklahoma GOP outsider, the event felt like your standard Oklahoma GOP affair. It featured a bunch of white people speaking, a bunch of white people praying, and a bunch of white people celebrating that, despite eight years of Mary Fallin, they still get to run the state. In fact, I think the official theme of the event was “It’s good to be white!”
What We Learned: January was an incredible month for wealthy elite Republicans to party down. Also, Kevin Stitt used ‘mustard seeds’ as some kind of metaphor that nobody else understands.
Published: January 17, 2019
What We Said: Kendal filed a motion to modify the mediation agreement. She claimed David cut her off from her financial resources, and as a result, she was broke! In fact, things were so bad that she had to fire her domestic helpers, house manager and even the chef!
What We Learned: It turns out being absurdly wealthy used-car dealers isn’t enough to buy a healthy relationship.
Published: January 29, 2019
What We Said: Although it’s an “exciting tradition,” The Speaker’s Ball isn’t heavily promoted to the public or media. For some reason, I guess the establishment isn’t too eager to put the spotlight on politicians and lobbyists dressed in prom attire and mingling in line at the cash bar.
Fortunately, we were able to gain access to a password-protected photo gallery from the event, via the Ogle Mole Network. It contains a motherload of funny, easy-to-mock photos of unphotogenic white church folk, wearing ill-fitting dresses and tuxedos.
What We Learned: Some people don’t dress up very well.
Published: January 8, 2019
What We Said: Now that medical marijuana has been legal (and available for purchase) in Oklahoma for a few months, I’ve received a bunch of questions from friends, family members, and Mary Fallin about the topic. Yep, being a medical marijuana card holder has made me quite popular.
For the most part, the questions range from basic stuff like “How to get a medical license?” or “What type of THC product should I buy?” to the strange and specific like “Will Josh Sallee return my text messages now?” or “Which Little Debbie snack cake is the best for munchies?”
The answer to the last one is Star Crunch.
What We Learned: There was a lot to navigate with our new marijuana laws, but I think even the spaciest stoners with nicknames like ‘Roach’ have most likely gotten it all figured out by now.
For more of 2019, click here.