Welcome back to our retrospective of another year in Oklahoma, as told through the lens of your favorite local obscure social blog, The Lost Ogle! Before we jump into the futuristic and dystopian year that 2020 will most assuredly turn out to be, let’s take a deep breathe and remember our funniest, wildest, and most popular stories of this year. The news cycle is moving so fast that it’s impossible to remember what happened last week, let alone last month.
Let’s get to it!
Published: March 5, 2019
What We Said: All in all, congrats Lawton for defying the odds and greasing the right clickbait engine palms to garner this great honor. But Lawton, a word of warning – do not get too comfy with this cozy little title. There are rumblings of rivalrous discontent from Weatherford and Shawnee. The SWOSU and OBU folks are notoriously competitive and will be out for blood.
What We Learned: Anytime you see one of those dumb ‘HERE’S WHAT PEOPLE LIKE THE BEST IN YOUR STATE’ maps, it will never, ever, ever be accurate.
Published: March 5, 2019
What We Said: Full of old-school murals of happy villages and old ladies cooking, even the ever-present Virgen de Guadalupe eventually shows up; as the ranchero music plays overhead, this business, owned and operated by Gumaro Lopez, is a Tex-Mex work of art, an immovable feast built on the graveyard of what was probably an old pizza parlor some 25 years ago.
What We Learned: The spirit of Pancho’s and better than ever with Casa Juanito.
Published: March 6, 2019
What We Said: Although it’s concerning that Lord England is using his large social media following to propagate questionable material that refutes global warming, I’m still going to be an altar boy at his church. I was indoctrinated at a young age, and the loyalty I have to him is as unbreakable as a multi-vortex grinder barreling towards a mobile home. Plus, we have Emily Sutton around to protect us if he gets to out of control. There’s still lots of good in him.
What We Learned: Gary England, now that he’s out of the spotlight, has been becoming more and more open about his descent into right-wing conspiracy and FOX News talking points, which would only be shocking if every other grandpa in America wasn’t going down that same route.
Published: March 11, 2019
What We Said: On behalf of fans of good music everywhere, I’d like to officially congratulate the crowd at the Criterion for getting this loser who thinks people care about his acoustic guitar to stop playing. Where were these folks at every college party I attended in 2002? The answer is probably “in elementary school.”
What We Learned: Oklahoma concert-goers have come under fire lately for being too chatty and generally not great about being good live music patrons. But when it comes to the solo act of a third-tier nu-metal-adjacent act, does it really matter?
Published: March 25, 2019
What We Said: Yep, the Oklahoma Governor who let her daughter park a trailer in the backyard also uses a motorized shopping cart when she goes to Walmart. I guess you can’t blame her. She did recently have surgery, and the Maester chains she wears around her neck are very heavy.
What We Learned: I want to give her the benefit of the doubt that she actually needed to use it, but as someone who used her position of power to basically tell teachers and everyone in the state who wasn’t a Devon CEO to ‘suck it,’ I’m gonna say she should pull up those bootstraps and get out of the grocery Rascal.