2019 Rewind: September

Welcome back to our retrospective of another year in Oklahoma, as told through the lens of your favorite local obscure social blog, The Lost Ogle! Before we jump into the futuristic and dystopian year that 2020 will most assuredly turn out to be, let’s take a deep breathe and remember our funniest, wildest, and most popular stories of this year. The news cycle is moving so fast that it’s impossible to remember what happened last week, let alone last month.

Let’s get to it!

It’s now legal for Oklahoma women to go topless in public…

Published: September 27, 2019

What We Said: The “debate” on whether or not women should be “allowed” to show their breasts in public sexualizes women and affects their ability to feed their children. And yet the old argument I’ve heard some men make throughout this is, “If a woman can openly bare her chest in public, then why can’t I take my penis out in public?” Well that’s because 1. You also get to be topless and 2. Babies don’t eat from dicks, ya goddamn sex offender.

What We Learned: Nipples are fine and everyone’s got em (hopefully). Don’t be a creep about other people’s boobs and let em hang or flap or stand upright or whatever your chest does.

Channel 4, Channel 9 provide live coverage of man being killed by police…

Published: September 10, 2019

What We Said: Bob Mills SkyNews Ultra-4k HD Ranger 9, and Bob Moore Air Comfort Solutions In Your Corner Chopper 4, both provided live footage of a dangerous, armed man being rightfully shot and killed by police after leading them on a chase through Northwest Oklahoma City. He was apparently on the run after killing his wife – Caleea Broadus – during some sort of domestic altercation.

What We Learned: Even in this new age or constant Twitter coverage of tragedy (maybe especially so), local news gets off on providing live coverage of people being murdered by police.

Breaking News: Kevin Durant Still Insufferable

Published: September 11, 2019

What We Said: He’s long been considered ‘an enigma’ by fans and sportswriters, but I think the truth is that he’s just insecure. He wants to have this veneer of a man who shuts off the opinions of the outside world and does whatever he wants, but deep down just wants to be loved. That’s not a criticism, hell, that’s just human and how most of us live and feel. But most of us don’t delve into perverse acts like creating burner Twitter accounts.

What We Learned: Hopefully, we don’t have to write about KD ever again, but something tells me he’ll find the time to talk shit about OKC next year and we’ll have to address his insecurity all over again.

5 things more helpful to carry in Oklahoma than a handgun

Published: September 6, 2019

What We Said: Forget semi-automatic handguns! Nothing scares people off more than the sight of a stranger holding a few copies of the Jehovah’s Witnesses’ monthly Watchtower magazine.

What We Learned: We all know that guns are tools, and useful for things like opening cans of tuna or changing out the brake pads on your car. But it doesn’t hurt to think outside the toolbox…

Street Outlaws is being subsidized by Oklahoma taxpayers…

Published: September 3, 2019

What We Said: Really? Street Outlaws gets to take advantage of the Oklahoma Film Enhancement Rebate Program? I thought the rebate was supposed to spur growth in our fledgling Hallmark Hall-of-Fame film industry, not help subsidize a stupid producer-driven reality show that’s been in production since 2013 and was going to film here anyway.

What We Learned: Here at TLO, the only subject better for hate-clicks than Pioneer Woman coverage is Street Outlaws, and every time we expose them as phony jabronis, all the Facebook uncles come out the woodworks.