Intoxicated Oklahoma man takes stolen forklift on epic joyride across Enid

As an early bird myself, I like to start my mornings off right with a little productivity. It feels really good to have done a few things on the to-do list before most of the world wakes up. But no amount of emails answered or workouts completed could ever make me feel as accomplished as Garrett Michael Anderson was before 8:00 Tuesday morning.

Via News 9…

An Enid man was arrested, accused of stealing a forklift from a hotel construction site and taking it on a joyride down the streets of Enid.

Garrett Michael Anderson, 23, was arrested on complaints of grand larceny, public intoxication (drugs), malicious injury to property and an outstanding warrant.

Around 7:40 a.m. Tuesday, Court Pierce called 911 after witnessing a forklift break through the construction site gates.

“He just ran a red light and through a beer can on the road,” Pierce told 911 dispatchers.

Pierce watched the estimated 15,000-pound vehicle hop curbs and destroy fences before police arrived….

 “He had a lot of bricks in a basket or in a box in the front and bricks started flying out all over the roadway,” said Pierce. “That was when I knew there was a problem.”

So you mean to tell me that stealing a forklift and running a red light while throwing beer cans out of said forklift ain’t the problem? Well if that’s the case, if I ever get day-drunk at 7:40 AM I’ll be sure to act out my intoxication by hot-rodding in a Caterpillar rather than my usual drunken go-to of having a crying-filled existential crisis while eating a whole bag of Doritos. But seriously, though I don’t condone Garrett’s behaviors, it sure seems like this cat knows how to have a good time…

Throughout the madness, Pierce watched the driver make a couple of stops.

Enid police said the suspect waved at officers during the joyride.

“There was a woman taking a break it looked like, he (the suspect) stopped and asked her for a cigarette,” said Piece. “Obviously I didn’t hear him ask but I saw her hand him a cigarette as I was yelling at her to get away from him.”

It all came to an end outside Suther Heckman’s house.

The vehicle lost a hose, stopping the flow of diesel to the engine. The suspect gave up and officers swarmed him, that was when reality set in…

Police believe Anderson also broke into the hotel construction site, breaking windows and tile then stealing the forklift.

No one was hurt and no damage was done to any buildings nearby.

I’m sure Garrett realized before the engine stopped that he had made a poor decision by stealing the forklift and joyriding down the cold, hard streets of Enid. As evidenced by him apparently waving at the cops he was attempting to outrun and bumming a cigarette to enjoy on the ride, Garrett probably decided early on that if he was going to jail, he might as well make it for a good reason.

Hayley won’t really steal a caterpillar. She doesn’t have her forklift operator license. Follow her on twitter @squirrellygeek