Guy Fieri to open restaurant in Durant…

There is perhaps no more divisive food celebrity than Guy Fieri. With his bleached spiky hair, signature goatee, wraparound Oakleys, and flame-covered button-up shirts, he’s like the living embodiment of a 2004 Hot Topic store. Even though his entire media personality is of a confirmed bachelor uncle stuck in time from his junior year of state college, his brand persists. Hell, I just turned on my tv for background noise to write this article, and there is a marathon of Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives on right now in this year of our lord 2020.

In some ways, he has transcended all of the hate and irony and has been around long enough now to come full-circle, and it’s like America has embraced and loved him all over again. Like when your confirmed bachelor uncle couldn’t get his shit together and was floundering as he followed Jimmy Buffet on tour, now it’s fun when he comes over to your family BBQ on his used Kawasaki Ninja and has a few Corona Lights and tells PG-13 dirty jokes.

Guy Fieri has featured several Oklahoma restaurants on his show, and now he’s decided to open up one of his own, right here in Durant, OK. From KOCO:

DURANT, Okla. —

Celebrity chef Guy Fieri is bringing his restaurant to Oklahoma.

Fieri’s American Kitchen + Bar is scheduled to open in April at the Choctaw Casino Resort.
Open daily, the 277-seat restaurant with about 11,000 square feet will be located at the south end of the casino.

“I’ve shot ‘Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives’ in Oklahoma and all over Texas and let me tell you, this part of the country knows good food,” said Fieri. “And in Durant in particular, you’ve got some good folks looking for real deal, scratch-made food, great cocktails and a big-time party. And the Choctaw Casino & Resort brings the heat!”

The restaurant will feature Fieri’s signature cuisine, which includes a variety of burgers, wings, tacos, small bites and shareable food items. Signature dishes include the famous Trash Can Nachos, American Royal Ribs, award-winning Bacon Mac-N-Cheese Burger and more.

With this opening up in Durant, it’s obviously also a bonethrow to Texans wanting to cross the Red River to gamble and eat some loaded, greasy food. Guy already has a presence in Arlington with Guy Fieri’s Taco Joint, so that must leave the region starving for more of the ball chain necklaced chef’s culinary feats.

After this announcement, there must be grumbling coming from Pawhuska. There can only be room for one celebrity chef in this state, and The Pioneer Woman has to be fuming. Hopefully, we’ll see a mad rivalry between the two trying to outdo each other while riffing on their recipes. Ree Drummond seems like the hospitable but overbearing aunt to Guy’s freewheeling uncle. She’s the one hosting a family baby shower and coming around with appetizers but also making sure that your drink is on top of a coaster. Guy is manning the grill and shotgunning Natty Lights in the backyard.

Hopefully, they can work things out, compromise, and collaborate on a restaurant. The Donkey Sauce will be renamed as Cowboy Juice, which sounds even more gross somehow but there must be a concessions made for the branding. Brutha’s Badass Caes-uh Salad is obviously too offensive ’round these parts, so how about Edna Mae’s Mixed Greens?

On the flip side, dishes like Ree serves at her restaurant The Mercantile could use some of that Fieri flavor. Spicy Dr Pepper Pork is right up his alley, but what about if it’s called Doctor Daddy’s Zing Bang Piggy Meat? Spinach artichoke dip sounds so by-the-books, so we gotta take it to 11 and rebrand it as Cousin Giuseppe’s Creamed Jeans? Alright, that one probably won’t fly, but you get the drift.

Anyways, this whole thing is exciting news for anyone who loves loaded cheese fries. Hopefully, we can get Guy onto Free Queso when he comes to town for the ribbon cutting.