A month or two ago, you’d look like an old wild west bandit walking into the grocery store around here while wearing a face mask. You’d get weird stares, security might want to have a word with you, and maybe you’d end up on the FOX25 as a robbery suspect.
Now, wearing a mask is not only practical but you can make it FASHION! Leave the N95 masks on the shelves for healthcare workers who really need them, and get crafty. There’s a lot of builds going around right now on how to DIY, and I don’t know how to sew but this is a good time to learn. One of the most popular ideas right now is transforming t-shirts into face masks. I have no idea how effective they actually are, but it’s probably better than nothing when some creep is breathing on you when you’re just trying to scope out the toilet paper section at Crest Foods.
Here are 10 Oklahoma t-shirts you probably have in your closet that will make excellent face masks:
Somehow, Stillwater birthed a restaurant that became a global phenomenon, especially in the 80’s and 90’s. Statistically, there is a chance that no matter where you live, you’ve got a tie-dye Joe’s shirt hanging around.
State Fair Airbrush
One of the best parts of the Great State Fair of Oklahoma, aside from getting a discount by bringing in a Dr Pepper can, is walking up to one of the booths by the agriculture section and getting a hat or a shirt airbrushed with a unicorn or whatever. Why not show off that swag now?
We rebranded the state for some weird reason and gave ourselves a new slogan back in October of 2008 (wait, I’m being told it was in January of this year). Maybe you ended up with a free promo shirt, so turn it into a useful device and make an ironic statement when you are paying 99 cents for gasoline.
Oil Company Polo
If you just got laid off from one of the major ONG companies, no doubt you’ve got a full rack of branded shirts. Instead of chucking that corporate fleece into the trash or burning them for fuel when things get really serious, represent the corporation that fired you!
Old OU Shirt
Maybe football is coming back, maybe not. The world could just be cancelled from here on out if people don’t take this seriously, so now is your chance to go out in style and let everyone fistfighting for bananas at Homeland know that you are a huge fan of amateur sports.
Your Friend’s Old Band
Remember that time when you went to The Opolis and your friend was opening for a touring band, and only eight people showed up and you bought a t-shirt out of sympathy? If you’re like me, you’ve done this and it was fifteen years ago and the garment absolutely does not fit anymore. The band broke up a month after you bought it, you’re never going to wear it again, so get some use out of it and rock your old scenester duds.
Cutesy Generic Local Shirt
The trend seems to have died down, but around 2012 everybody was wearing shirts from local boutiques that were either designed to invoke the OKC Thunder in a way that didn’t violate federal copyright laws, or just vaguely sending the message of ‘I live here in Oklahoma and want to project that things are better here then they actually are.’ If you don’t have one of these yet, I recommend the Blue 7 clearance section.
Airport Cowtipping Shirt
Actually, ever since the mayor made it his personal mission to remove these from Will Rogers Airport, this design is probably really rare and selling like gold on Poshmark. Rocking a cowtipping face mask would be like stunting in some fresh Supreme streetwear, but in John Deere Green.
Free Thunder Shirt
It’s a little harder to get one of these now since the NBA season might be kiboshed, and the Thunder hasn’t had much playoff success in the last few years. But if you’ve ever been to a playoff game, you took home a paper-thin XXXL shirt that you wore during the game and it’s been living in the back of your closet ever since. Speaking of unwearable Thunder shirts…
Kevin Durant Jersey
Longtime OKC. Thunder fans are required by law to own at least a dozen shirts and jersey of players who have either fled town or got traded away. By repurposing the KD shirt you bought in the Plaza District that’s an image of Durant rendered onto the cover of the ‘Twister’ poster, not only do you get a second life out of a garment you’d never wear again, but people will see it and instantly want to stay 6 feet away from you.
These are just some suggestions, but what are y’all doing to stay safe out there (aside from staying the fuck home and washing your hands 69 times a day)?