Kevin Stitt announces plans to help increase spread of Coronavirus…

It looks like someone is craving some of the delicious food at The Collective!

Oklahoma Gov. Kevin Stitt – the man who doesn’t vaccinate all his kids – has consulted with his experts, advisors and the other yes-men in his cabinet and determined its time to open Oklahoma up for to business!

Yep, that’s right. Even though social distancing measures have helped us kind of contain the virus, and Oklahoma still sucks at getting its residents tested, we’ve flattened the curve and it’s time to get life – and good old-fashioned American capitalism – back to normal.

Via a Carmen Foreman article with The Oklahoman:

Following some guidelines from the White House, Oklahoma Gov. Kevin Stitt outlined a vision Wednesday for reopening some shuttered businesses starting Friday.

Many other businesses previously deemed “nonessential” will be allowed to reopen on May 1 so long as they adhere to social distancing and sanitation recommendations.

The three-tiered approach to reopening businesses statewide aims to have Oklahoma back to business as usual by mid-June, so long as the state can manage the number of COVID-19 cases and hospitalizations.

“This is a careful and measured approach designed to protect our most vulnerable while safely easing most Oklahomans back to work,” Stitt said at a news conference at the state Capitol.

The announcement was quickly panned by the Coronamania Shame police on social media, but you know what, I’m going to trust Kevin on this one. He’s a kind, decent man and would obviously never prioritize corporate profits over the health and safety of our most vulnerable Oklahomans.

I wonder who he’s going to put in charge of the re-open? It will obviously be someone with a background in public health and safety, right?

The governor formed a task force, led by State Chamber of Oklahoma President Chad Warmington, to help craft the “Open Up and Recover Safely” plan.

Well, it’s official. The oil overlords have finally got to Kevin Stitt. It sure did take them long enough. In case you didn’t know, Chad Warmington is the former head of the Petroleum Alliance of Oklahoma and Oklahoma Oil & Gas Association. It makes sense that Stitt put an oil and gas industry puppet in charge of leading the “Open Up and Recover Safely” plan, because nobody cares more about the health and safety of people than the oil industry lobbyists.

For some reason, the move pissed off Oklahoma doctors:

Listen doctors, I’m sure you mean well and everything, but you’re just being cautious and overprotective like you always do. Just like with diet, exercise and quitting smoking, sometimes it’s okay not to follow your orders. Not only is the virus being overblown by the liberal mainstream media, but Oklahoma’s wind will keep us safe. Well, at least it will according to Oklahoma’s favorite right wing, racist socialite.

In case you care, here’s a sampling of some of the non-essential businesses that can open soon, while the Coronavirus still lurks and spreads in our community:

April 24, 2020, the following businesses can reopen:

Personal care businesses, such as hair salons, barbershops, spas, nail salons, and pet groomers can reopen for appointments only, must adhere to sanitation protocols, and follow guidelines posted on the Oklahoma Department of Commerce website regarding social distancing between customers and visitors at personal care businesses.

State parks and outdoor recreation should be reopened

Grocery stores should continue to maintain hours for vulnerable populations

May 1, 2020, the following businesses can reopen:

Dining, entertainment, movie theatres and sporting venues can operate using CDC recommended social distancing and sanitation protocols.

Gyms can reopen if they adhere to CDC-recommended social distancing and sanitation protocols.

Places of worship can reopen for in-person meetings or worship if they leave every other row or pew open and adhere to CDC-recommended social distancing and sanitation protocols, plus the recommended guidelines from the Oklahoma Department of Commerce.

Bars should remain closed.

Tattoo Parlors can reopen for appointments only and must adhere to sanitation protocols and social distancing protocols for distancing between customers and visitors.

That’s good news. I’ve been itching for a dinner, movie and catch-a-deadly-virus date night. I’m glad our governor is, too.

Anyway, you can read more about our governor’s stupid announcement and the reactions from business owners, government officials, and people smarter than our governor, over at The Oklahoman or Frontier.

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52 Responses


  1. We are so fucked. I, not willing to risk my health or endanger others health, will continue to self quarantine at least through May and maybe June. I do not trust our alleged “leaders” to actually lead and put the peoples interests first. To them it’s profits over people.


  2. I think is’s a mistake to open this early. I know business’ are suffering, ours is. I agree the time for opening needs to be based on sustained downward trends, which we haven’t seen yet. Even though I don’t agree with his decision, I hope he’s right and this doesn’t cause more infections and end up prolonging the recovery. Do what’s right for your business or family regardless of what the governor says or does. We will fall more in line with OKC’s Mayor Holt and Norman’s mayor Clark.


  3. With barbershops reopening, Stitt will be able to resume his pre-pandemic smartly coiffed appearance.


  4. I’m going to take a hard pass on the reopening. I don’t need to be out with the lemmings for another 2-3 weeks minimum.


  5. I love my church, but I think I’ll wait for the first wave of covidiots to run out and infect each other before I venture out too much. Every other pew, lol!!! I was a minister for 25 years and had to “wash the fellowship off my hands” every time we met, even in normal times, to keep from getting whatever foul disease Brother Grandpa and Sister Granny brought to church that service because “if the door’s open, we’ll be there”. I had to push my deacons to cancel services all the time for winter weather because the people with the worst health, unsteady balance, and inability to drive safely would come out while everyone else celebrated the fact they didn’t have to sit through amateur Sunday school hour and my haranguing from the pulpit! Sometimes you have to lead and make the tough choice to save people from themselves.


  6. I guess Stitt missed Trump throwing the Georgia governor under the bus.


    1. Exactly! Trump will eat his young governor lackeys when it becomes apparent them following his lead backfires publicly. Anything to divert the blame. Sit back and enjoy – this will be fun to watch. And meanwhile reject everything they say and keep social distancing, etc.


  7. I feel so safe with Gov. Jethro guiding us! Yeah, right! Think I will stay home. Trust the Docs a hell of a lot more than this buffoon.


  8. It is a very poor idea to re-open our state. I am just an old Beatles fan, with an 81 year old husband with dimentia. So far, neither of us has become sick, but the longer the social distanciing, the better for we elderly souls. We are not much valued in today’s world. Too bad. When today’s young become old, I wonder what the world has for them.


    1. Thankfully, tribal tradition still teaches us to revere our elders & that includes all elders, not just those of the tribe! So, there are plenty of young people who care even though it might not feel like it!


    2. Us youngins with health problems are getting a preview. It’s horrifying. My husband whose entire job is computer based & whose company has dealt with me being in the ICU before had to genuinely fight for work from home. Stay safe.


  9. Well if nothing bad happens because of this, he will take credit for saving Oklahoma’s lackluster economy. If we find ourselves more likely with a huge spike of cases, hospitalizations, and deaths, Stitt will blame it on faulty models and recommendations from his healthcare advisers. So he’ll basically say that our healthcare workforce is Oklahoma is uneducated and not up to task to navigate through a pandemic which is not the case.

    The not so funny thing is that Governor Stitt is looking for short term monetary gain. If he was smarter, he would realize his base of supporters are mostly people that fall in the pre-existing conditions crowd (obesity, diabetes, older population) and are more susceptible to dying from the Covid. If they all fall victim to it within the next couple of months, who is going to be around to vote for the current president or Governor Stitt in his reelection campaign later?


    1. “Short-term monetary gain” is the Holy Grail of late-stage capitalism. Cut a few corners, suck out value quickly, then move on.

      You said you wanted someone to “run government like a business”? You got it.


    2. Hey, quit trying to kill us off!! I’m old with health issues that make me more susceptible to the plague but I’m staying home and practicing, as best I can, the measures put out by the people who know what they’re doing. That of course does not include Trump or his wannabe Stitt. One question tho: can you play dominoes virtually?


      1. Looks like the only thumbs down on most of these comments must be Stitt’s Wife.


  10. Oklahoma’s covidiot-in-chief is headed down the path to the grapes of wrath. – apologies to Steinbeck


  11. Remember, Governor Dipstitt has Jesus Goddammit Christ on his side, so I think all of his followers should pick a centrally-located church in which to gather to await the apocalypse. Who does that godless virus think it is, anyway?!


    1. You should always suggest “Sympathy for the Devil” to be playing in the background.


  12. Nobody seems to have noticed that at the end of the press conference when asked when the capitol was going to reopen the response was basically the legislators can telework and ‘we’ll wait and see.’ Hypocritical lying bastards!


  13. This virus is smart. Its hosts are highly infectious before they even show any symptoms! In other words, the virus is a lot smarter than Governor Stitt, even though it has no brains at all.

    Everyone with even a minimal amount of sense will be staying at home and maintaining their social distance to the extent possible. The doofuses who listen to the Governor (instead of to the mayors of OKC, Tulsa, and Norman) will be going to restaurants, concerts, and movies, and getting haircuts, tattoos and pretty fingernails. It will be Darwinism at work.

    We could starve the virus of its hosts by keeping our social distance and letting the disease run its course among those already infected. Or we can listen to happy talk from (some of) our political leaders and pretend that we have “won the war” because social distancing has been working at flattening the curve.

    How do we find such stupid governors? Who the hell votes for these morons?


    1. Morons


    2. Apparently Sarcoostic Sinner


    3. What is the fascination with “tattoos” in the tlo pandemic comments?


      1. Tattoo parlors being considered “essential” is worthy of mockery.


    4. Derplahomans.


    5. I’d like to anser that question bekause I rezent what you are enfurring, but I’am kurrently setting up my rubbing alcohol drip device that I can use while laying for 17 our’s strate in the tanning booth I bot on craigslist with my covid chek.
      Many of my MAGA friends have only needed a flashlight as they diskovered lite did in fact pass directly through they’re body’s when simply using the ear canal.


  14. I’m not leaving my house until June. Maybe…


  15. I think we might see a slight spike in cases but nothing horrid like many think. if you’ve had to go to a store or done a “curbside pickup” from a restaurant, you’ll see there isn’t much in the way of “precautions” being taken. They seem lackluster or half-assed attempts at best. If everyone is going to take half-ass attempts at not spreading the virus anyway, let people go back to work and earn some money to pay bills.


    1. Most of us old farts are trying to figure out how to hang on anyway. Pass the time figuring out a patriotic theme for your headstone. Currently I’m leaning to “Here lies KC. He gave it all for an uptick in the Dow”
      Or, “Here lies KC, Covid Check, stadium lights and chlorox. An American Patriot.”
      If I purchase enough trumpychloroquine will I get an American flag by my graveside on Veterans day?
      I can’t sleep from wondering if the Fox News version of donald’s bleach rant had his head digitally spun around backwards about 290 degrees so he was actually looking at a reporter when he was talking to them? The cult certainly appears to think so.


  16. I can see none of you genius’s understand what “flattening the curve” was intended for, or how a virus outbreak without a vaccine works. All the while calling everyone else idiots.


    1. Perhaps you could enlighten us, rather than leave us with only a drive-by slam?


      1. Master of drive-by slams hath spoken.


        1. Master of ad hominem has spoken.


  17. When I met my husband 11 years ago, I was living in Texas & getting to move back to the Pacific Northwest where my vote for president would actually be counted. I have lived my whole life in Red states that are at the bottom of everything & only get by because Blue States are bailing them out. It is wearing thin.

    I tell him it had to be love because who would have believed we would actually live in state where people would vote for Trump & then vote again for his mini me governor candidate!


    1. I hear ya Brenda. Grew up here and left like my ass was on fire after high school graduation 40 years ago. Had to retire from my good job and leave the great Northwest to move back when mom and dad had to go into assisted living. No brothers or sisters, so here I am in Tulsa, which seemed the best place to land as I would not move back to Enid with a gun held to my head. Mom is gone now, and dad is left in assisted living. Luckily, he’s in a good place, and I trust the facility and staff where he resides, though with the gov wanting to open up it only leads to more chances of infection. There have been no recorded infections at dad’s home, though I understand there will now be testing at all nursing homes in OK (?) and that picture will obviously change.

      Do I take Dad out of the home and expose him to possible infection or let him stay and monitor the situation and expose him to possible infection? Would appreciate opinions from any other folks in this situation.

      It seems in the long run your chances are going to come down to what State you live in. Our governor is hell bent on making his buddies happy so here we are. I am surprised though, and happily, that a few of the usual gang in OKC are starting to stand up to him-we’ll see.


      1. I’m thankful that this all happened after my mom passed. Her final years were in assisted living.

        I have no idea what I would do in your situation, Mark. Wish I had something to offer.


      2. Speaking only as a nurse (I am not a doctor, and I do not play one on TV), I say only that if your dad is okay where he is (and it sounds like that is the case), then it’s probably better to let him stay there.

        That said, I do not envy you or your dad’s position here. Nor do I necessarily think that there’s a “wrong answer”. It’s just that, with the way this virus operates, especially with the asymptomatic running around, the above is probably the safer option.


    2. You may have lived here but I’d bet you’ve been missing church services. They don’t even have to turn on the tv to get their propaganda for donald.


  18. It’s hell when you have a “leader” who lives by the mantra “stupid is as stupid does”! And BY GOD he does that so well!
    Time to charge Gov Alfalfa and his yes men with pre- meditated murder for every life lost when he opens this state up so prematurely without a thought who is going to suffer for more of his and the FAT ORANGE TRAITORS IGNORANCE!!


  19. Well the Bodine vidiot is running true to form in his slavish worship of Doctor Donny and his anything for the all-mighty buck. Guess he believes “the buck stops here” means the dollar.


  20. The curve has been flattened. There is no vaccine. There is not going to be a vaccine this year for sure and may not happen next year either. The curve has been flattened, this is why we were on lockdown. There is a good chances are you are going to be infected unless you shelter. I am not staying locked down the rest of this year or the possibility of next year. If your health is compromised then I would suggest you be cautious and take all precautions, boost your immune system if possible. If not, lockdown!


  21. Guvnr Stitt and Mike Morgan would make a great couple!


  22. It’s a shame our governor follows Trump’s ideas. Trump wants the country open, then criticizes Georgia’s governor for opening that state too soon. You can’t have it both ways unless you are a Trump. We are way too soon to be doing this. C-19 is going to be back, and way too soon before the end of this current pandemic.


  23. looks like 1 in 5 of NY folks have developed antibodies to corona:

    https://www.livescience.com/covid-antibody-test-results-new-york-test.html

    with under 200 people dead in OK so far, when do you think it is safe to start getting out there again?


  24. That damn Nail Solon Lobby strikes again. Is there no limit to its power? Holy Cuticle!


  25. Stitt was too preoccupied early in the outbreak designing his new stupid logo for Oklahoma. I have a new logo for Stitt . RECALL


  26. Okies, by nature have never been the brightest bulbs in the light fixture and this has further been made manifest by the fact they elected a turd like Stitt to the highest office in the state. Imagine that!


  27. The number of tested coved infections has not stopped rising every day since March 13. Recent new cases have been 100+ daily.


    1. Who gives a single shit abote that? Football seson is just arond the korner.


  28. Who’s get a haircut today?


  29. I would have been able to handle something like ” Look people are financially fixing to starve & be homeless & Idk whats right but ima chancing it” instead of his flat out LYING


  30. Can’t believe that gym in Edmond run by ” health ” experts who discouraged use of masks after talking to some “doctor” so that folks can breathe heavily on a treadmill socially ” distanced” a foot or two away from another spit spewing patron. Will these owners be held responsible for infections? They deep clean every two weeks …wow ..

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