7 Social Distancing Rules for Oklahoma Storm Chasers

As we were reminded last week, severe weather season is slowly converging into the Coronavirus pandemic, creating a level of Spring severe weather anxiety we haven’t witnessed in this state since 1995. But don’t worry too much. The government and for-profit media wants us to know which scary thing to fear the most:

Emergency officials in Green County said personal safety trumps social distancing rules when it comes to taking shelter from a tornado.

“At that particular moment, you have to think about your safety dealing with the tornadoes and kind of put the Coronavirus and the social distancing aside,” said Owasso Emergency Coordinator Dan Miller.

After deadly tornadoes hit multiple cities across the United States, Miller said now is the time to prepare yourself for the worst.

“Start reviewing your procedures now,” he said. “Everybody should have some type of plan in place.”

Although it’s nice the public knows which risk to fear the most, it doesn’t clear things up for our beloved storm chasers – those thrill-seeking, nerdcore “Essential Employees” who pack themselves like sardines inside SUVs and helicopters and Mad Max all-terrain vehicles, risking life and limb dodging other storm chasers while chasing cagey multi-wedge grinders along Oklahoma backroads.

As a result, I put together a simple set of social distancing rules and guidelines that all chasers should follow while the pandemic rages on.

1. Only two chasers per vehicle, unless you’re tagging along with Val & Amy, Hank & Patty or Jude & Jody.

Storm chasers exempt from this rule include Chance Coldiron, Kevin Josefy and Marc Dillard. They’re immune to all disease.

2. Wipe Gentner with Clorox wipes after each use

3. All chasers must wear Rorschach face masks. 

GI Joe Cobra masks are also acceptable.

4. TV News helicopters must remain 600-feet apart at all times.

5. Spray hailstones with disinfectant before eating

Did you know storm chasers routinely eat nutrient-packed hailstones while chasing storms? Neither did I! Either way, they should always be safe and make sure to spray them with disinfectant before eating.

6. Mute your mic when you’re not on the air. 

The same rules that apply to Zoom meetings also go for chasing storms.

7. Do not stop to help with any rescue or recovery efforts. Those people may have Coronavirus.