5 New Social Distancing Guidelines For Frontier City

Earlier this week, news came out that OKC’s very own Frontier City would be the first theme park in the Six Flags portfolio, and possibly the country, to reopen during the Coronavirus pandemic. Here are the details via a BAM! article in The Oklahoman_:

Frontier City has announced that it will re-open June 5 with a mask requirement, temperature checks, required reservations and other safety protocols to protect visitors and employees from COVID-19…

Six Flags General Manager Trevor Leonard spoke exclusively to “Good Morning America” Tuesday morning from Frontier City to announce that the OKC location will be the first of the chain’s theme parks across the country to reopen.

That’s cool! As if roller coasters weren’t fun and exciting enough, now you can risk catching a deadly virus while you wait to ride one! That takes “thrill-ride” to a whole new level! I’m sure the Stitt family will be the first ones in line for the Brain Drain.

He said that reservations, non-invasive temperature checks and face masks will all be required, and that masked employees, including a new “Clean Team,” will be cleaning and disinfecting continuously throughout the day.

“It’s a never-ending process,” he said on “GMA.”

Leonard said he believes Frontier City will be the first theme park in the country to reopen following nationwide closures due to the pandemic.

We may not have a lot going for us in Oklahoma City, but at least we get to be the test subject in a public health experiment to see what happens when you re-open a theme park during a global pandemic (and / or viral hoax created by the world’s liberal elite to infect us with nanobot vaccines) that doesn’t appear to be slowing down. I’m sure that will work out fine.

Six Flags released a video to show all the guidelines and steps they’ve implemented to make sure the park is safe for visitors. It’s common sense stuff like requiring facemasks, frequent cleaning, social distancing, etc, but there are also some curious ones that are very specific to Frontier City, such as:

1. Guests must wear old dusty bandanas as facemasks.

Not only can this help prevent the spread of COVID-19, but it will provide a more authentic Frontier City experience. Guests must wear the facemasks at all times, unless they get stuck on the Silver Bullet.

2. Treat Log Ride water with hydroxychloroquine

I’m not sure if Frontier City even has a log ride, but if they do, this is a smart idea. They could even buy it directly from the state. We have quite a bit. 

3. Install 10 story tall, 2,000-foot wide Plexiglas shield between Frontier City and truck stops / hotels on NE 122nd.

That area just feels like it’s covered under a gigantic yellow cloud of COVID, or some other easy to transmit disease. In fact, Frontier City may want to expand the wall to run parallel to I-35.

4. Designated anti-facemasks protest zones for Constitutionalists, Three Percenters, Proud Boys and any other crisis actor protestors among the alt-right.

When these guys hear Frontier City is requiring visitors to wear facemasks, they’ll no doubt flock to the park to protest the assault on their constitutional freedoms. That’s why the park is giving them their own anti-facemask protest zone where the Rythm Pit used to be.

5. Temperature checks for all patrons to determine sanity

The Coronavirus threat probably wouldn’t be enough to keep me from entering the park, but wearing a facemask outside in the Oklahoma summer sure would. I guess that’s what they’re implementing “cutting-edge” thermal imagining. They want to make sure the visitors aren’t going delirious when they enter.

Anyway, those are some of the so-totally real requirements. If you know of any, share them in the comments. If you want to become a TLO member, click here.