Pros and Cons of Trump’s Big Tulsa Rally

As I’m sure you’ve heard, Donald Trump is visiting Tulsa later this week for a big White Power Make America Great Again rally at the BOK Center, located just blocks from where one of the worst racial massacres in US history took place.

The event was originally scheduled for June 19th – a.k.a Juneteenth, the day that marks the emancipation of slaves in the United States – but Trump, a compassionate man and the best president for black Americans since (maybe) Abraham Lincoln, postponed it a day because he’s the last President who would ever want to stoke racial divisions in America… and to give out-of-state protestors, the police and Coronavirus one extra day to prepare for everything.

However, his visit is still controversial, especially to the libtards on the left who criticize everything Trump does. As a result, Patrick and I have come up with a fair and balanced list of pros and cons regarding Saturday’s rally…

Pro: National attention for Oklahoma. This will be a great showcase for our state. Business leaders, conservative elites and job creators from all over the country will learn just how far our state will go to kiss the ass of a racist conman…and see that Oklahoma is a shining national example of responsibly opening during a national pandemic, as cases across the state rise.

Con: Might start a national civil war.

With Boogaloo Boys, Proud Boys and other pro-white factions of Trumplandia sure to be protecting the outside of the BOK Center with their AR-15s and other assorted testosterone-packed regalia, this could be the racist matchstick that starts the Civil War 2: Electric…well, you get it.

Pro: COVID-19 is a hoax. Don’t believe the fear perpetuated by the lamestream media. Coronavirus is a hoax created by Bill Gates, George Soros and Garfield’s Jim Davis. At worse, it’s like the flu, and even then the state has plenty of hydroxychloroquine and injectable bleach to keep us safe.

Con: Have to sign a waiver acknowledging you will probably get COVID-19. And, by signing that waiver, you’ll have no one to sue but yourself if you do get it, wimp.

Pro: Get to see Tulsa’s landmarks. 

Con: Some of Tulsa’a landmarks have been vandalized to worship a different billionaire.

Pro: A crowd where all lives matter. Everyone knows that Trump supporters believe that “All Lives Matter!” and will lovingly scream it at Black Lives Matter protestors while they reenact putting their knee on the neck of George Floyd.

Con: A crowd that will be tear-gassed. The police force hasn’t been defunded or disbanded yet, so as Americans exercise their God-given right to protest against cruel injustices in the streets, our tax-dollars, instead of going to mental health, social services and aid for the homeless, will be used against demonstrators in the form of tear-gas and rubber bullets and whatever else cops have to make their nightsticks semi-hard.

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Pro: May get to shake hands with Trump. How many people can say that they shook the hand of the greatest American leader since Barack Obama Andrew Jackson?

Con: May get to shake hands with Trump. You can be sure his hands are tiny and moist, like the adorable paws of small tabby.

Follow Louis on Twitter at @LouisFowler and Instagram at @louisfowler78.