7 Toby Keith songs that predicted the upcoming Armageddon

2020 has been a wild year. Some days it feels like God is just up there in the sky, throwing darts at the book of Revelation to determine what kind of apocalyptic madness is going to happen next. Though it might appear that the world is out of control, in reality these events have been predicted and cautioned about for years. But the dire warnings about 2020 were not given to us by any Megachurch preacher, so we didn’t listen. The message was more unconventional and cryptic than we wanted to believe. Here’s 7 Toby Keith songs that predicted Armageddon.

Beer for My Horses

This song is about a couple of old, white men getting angry at the 6:00 news before starting their own militia to take their interpretation of law and order into their own hands. Only Toby Keith could have predicted a bunch of white dudes dressing up to play army while complaining about “gangsters” and having wet dreams about shooting people.


I Wanna Talk About Me

Years ago, Toby Keith foretold the egotistical, individualistic mindset that places value on the “freedoms” of the individual over the good of all that has fueled the defiance when it comes to wearing face masks in Walmart.


I Love this Bar

Toby Keith’s “I Love this Bar” is about a bar where a diverse group of people gather to share in libations and have a good time. Because there’s so damn many drinking establishments in the metro, in real life people usually only congregate in places with other like-minded individuals. For example, Ned’s Starlight Lounge is home of those who go to bed at 9:00 PM and OKC Cowboys attracts 22-year-olds with trucks funded by daddy’s money. But being that only a handful of bars have reopened during COVID-19, you really are starting to see Oklahomans from all walks of life gather to defy CDC recommendations and drink the night away.


The Taliban Song

This Toby Keith song just about proves racism didn’t end in the 1960s and is unfortunately a fight being fought to this day.

Author’s note: Holy sh*t, this song is terrible on so many levels. Please do not actually listen to it. 


Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue

This song is about retaliation. In the lyrics, Toby Keith sings about “Uncle Sam” making a hit list for “justice” and threats to put a boot in someone’s ass. But at the end of the song, the big words mean nothing and the tensions between the USA and the “enemy” are only escalated without resolution. Remember when we almost went to WWIII with Iran earlier this year? Toby Keith not only remembers. He predicted it.


A Little Less Talk and A Lot More Action

Initially, the lyrics of this song seem to be about a guy trying to hookup with a one-night stand. But the frustration and agitation in getting through to a woman is really just a metaphor for the frustration and agitation Oklahomans feel in getting through to Governor Stitt in his press conferences as we all plead for him to give us, “a little less talk and a lot more action.”


How Do You Like Me Now?

What was once believed to be a ballad of bragging to your “could-have-been” high school girlfriend about how successful you’ve become, is now considered to be a “told-you-so” for all of us scrubs who misinterpreted Toby Keith’s music over the last 30 years. Toby Keith has been trying to warn us about this apocalypse for decades. But being that his music is generally accompanied by a significant amount of alcohol, nobody paid attention to the soothsayer in the straw hat.

Don’t even get me started on, “Red Solo Cup.” Follow Hayley on twitter @squirrellygeek

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12 Responses

  1. The only Toby Keith song with which I am very familiar is “I’ll never smoke weed with Willie again.” I’m not a fan. I was even on the side of the Dixie Chicks.

    Toby isn’t so much a seer or prophet as he is an a-hole. We enable his prophet cred when we admire and emulate him.

    He’s not a prophet… he’s a social influencer!

    1. Non of this has anything pertaining to the bible.

      1. No one claimed that it did.

  2. I like the song from Toby’s upcoming album YEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAW! called “Atom Bombs Dropped On Them Other People, For Jesus, Who Then Burped On Account Of His Beer.”

    It’s a boot-scooter, I tell you what.

  3. Poor Toby, he won’t have any OU football games to stand on sidelines of this Fall.

  4. “Don’t Let The Old Man In” probably refers to Biden.

    1. more likely gray chin

  5. Love Toby!!!

  6. So it’s racist to hate terrorists? What is wrong with you?

  7. Toby Keith’s music is obviously Way above whoever wrote this articles grade school level. Clearly they are a millennial who knows nothing about our Nation’s history, patriotism, and love of America and all that entails!

    1. they will remove your post shortly if you don’t agree with their uber-liberal agenda..

  8. Hopefully the real Americans will put a boot in the ignorant asses of the idiot democrats!

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