7 reasons why Oklahomans don’t need another stimulus package!

Even though it feels like March 170th, believe it or not, it has been about 4 months since we’ve received our $1,200 stimulus money. Though unemployment in Oklahoma has hit a record high and the moratorium on evictions has ended, our esteemed Governor Kevin Stitt stated earlier this month quote, “I don’t think we need another stimulus package.” While some may find Stitt’s opinion on financial relief to be at best out-of-touch with the average Oklahoman and at worst callous and cruel, I think he might be on to something. In fact, here are 7 reasons why Oklahomans don’t need another stimulus package!

Dr. Birx says Oklahoma is handling the pandemic just fine

Late last week, White House Coronavirus Response Coordinator Dr. Deborah Birx made a visit to Oklahoma to discuss the state’s handling of the COVID-19 pandemic. This comes just a few weeks after claims were made by US officials that Stitt had failed to implement the White House Coronavirus Task Force’s recommendations for decreasing the spread of the illness. But even though the media was not allowed to attend the discussion between Kevin Stitt and Dr. Birx, nor ask the official any questions about the meeting afterward, our esteemed governor made sure to fill us all in by claiming Dr. Birx was complimentary of the state and made no recommendations for Oklahoma to better handle the pandemic. So good job, Oklahoma!

The Oklahoma County Jail is well-funded

In April, Oklahoma County received approximately $47 million in aid from the federal government to use to combat COVID-19 related difficulties. Being that the Oklahoma County Budget Board voted to give $36 million of that funding to the Oklahoma County Jail Trust last week, it must mean that Oklahoma County residents have very little need for housing, work, or food assistance, right?.

$1,200 was more than a month of Oklahoma minimum wage

With a minimum wage set at $7.25 per hour, Oklahomans working 40 hours per week at minimum wage should be expected to bring home about $1,160 every month. If the CARES Act’s $1,200 wasn’t enough to get them through, maybe Oklahomans should get a second or third job. Especially since a single, childless adult needs to make about $10.94 per hour to make ends meet in this state.

It disincentivizes Oklahomans to work

If the government is going to shell out $1,200 of free money, it is going to disincentivize Oklahomans to work. Everyone knows that hundreds of jobless people waiting in an unemployment line is a sign of a motivated workforce.

Life insurance policies should start paying out soon

By our state leaders’ response to the pandemic so far, it seems more likely that Oklahomans are going to receive a life insurance policy payout than any kind of support from our government anytime soon.

Oklahomans are just going to blow it

If we give Oklahomans another stimulus check, they’re only going to blow it on Joe Exotic-inspired tattoos, take-out Thai food, virtual concerts, and other frivolous expenditures that fund Oklahoma small businesses and stimulate the local economy.

Stitt has made it through the pandemic just fine

After surviving COVID-19 himself, Governor Stitt has showed us that anyone can survive this pandemic, as long as you have a job that allows you to work from home for at least two weeks, full healthcare, and government-funded housing.

Hayley has stuff to do today. Follow her on twitter @squirrellygeek

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19 Responses

  1. There is only one proper use for the new round of free money Stitt says we don’t need, and that is to donate it to THE LOST OGLE.

    With a minor kickback to myself, if and when possible.

    I have spoken.

  2. I would’ve loved to be able to hear the real dialogue that went on in that room. The news reported she warned us of becoming another Texas/Florida if proper precautions weren’t taken.

  3. We’re reminded on almost a daily basis why this StittBilly lost Oklahoma County to Mick Cornett. Unfortunately, Tulsa and the Derplahomans elected this jackoff in here.

  4. The first time I saw a “Stitt for Governor” ad on the teevee, I said “Oh please Lord – anyone but this buffoon!”

    Guess God is mad at me. Can’t imagine why.

    Can we get Mary Fallin back, or is she still partying in Sturgis? I miss Mary these days, kinda like I miss George W. Bush.

    Hayley nailed it with “It disincentivizes Oklahomans to work.” That’s the big one for these plutocrat Republican assholes. Those people in line? They’re seeking ASSISTANCE, not jobs dontcha know. Never mind that there are more job-seekers than jobs right now, and that it’s a game of musical chairs with lots of folks left standing when the music stops. Fuck ’em. They’re all shiftless and lazy anyway.

    Remember the “compassionate conservatives”? Neither do I.

    1. It is hard to remember those who never existed.

  5. Kevin (Jethro) Stitt is basically the elected version of the lead salesman at your “friendly” car lot that advertises on local TV. Everybody tells you what a great guy he is, and he goes to Life Church with you, so he must be honest. He also has a way of explaining how he actually makes money when it he sells you the car below cost, he must be very smart also. You sure were as lucky today when you came into the car lot, as the state is lucky to have elected Kevin Stitt.

    Problem is sociopaths make great salesmen and politicians, and Oklahoma voters tend to keep those politicians in office forever, except for state offices when they are term limited out of office. So yeah, pretty soon Oklahoma will be asked to send Mr. Stitt to Washington to help out there.

    The fact that the meeting was held without media, you know many things were said that the Wizard of Stitt doesn’t want his followers to hear. His wife being in attendance is a bit puzzling, until you consider all the people on his cabinet and agency heads who have resigned. Perhaps he was to required to bring to the meeting, and he figured his wife would do the least amount of damage to his story.

    You have a very dangerous Governor, and he is going to inflict even more damage in the next two years. While I thought initially he was simply an idiot, I think now that was all part of his act, the goofy con-man. Nobody can be as stupid as he appears to be, selfies in the restaurant kitchens before it was all shut down. Infecting a mom and pop Vietnamese restaurant after getting Covid.

    Not wearing a mask after having the honor of being the first Governor with Covid. If a book was written about his shenanigans in office, even The Onion would turn it down for not being believable.

    If the public is fine with a Cougar Governor that according to divorce papers had an affair with her body guard then why not elect another embarrassment, and like most movies the sequel is always worse than the original.

    Kevin Stitt is Oklahoma! Imagine That!

    1. Superb. Loved it. Reminds you of the relative worldliness and ignorance level of Derplahomans.

    2. Sounds like Dr. Birx might have just been flown in by donald for a high priced personal Dr. call?
      Sttttttts wife probably takes notes from Pence’s Wife.

  6. There’s a reason that Stitt rhymes with Shitt. And Birx and jerks seem to go together as an ensemble.

  7. This guy will forever be known as the governor that made Oklahoma a Stitthole. (Imagine that!) Just wait folks, this guy is going to have his little buddies he appointed to state agency jobs to move state tax payer funds, and jobs, up to his rich buddies in the NE part of Oklahoma.

    1. I like a person with a good sense of wordplay. “Stitthole.” Good one, man!

  8. Unfortunately, we still have two years of this total whack job as governor. Hopefully we won’t have to deal with his master after this election.

    1. He’ll probably get re-elected.

      1. Sadly, you’re probably right. There’s precedent. We re-elected Mary Fallin, even after four years of seeing how awful she was.

      2. Someone in here already has kevin pegged as our next U.S. Senator, replacing our great Senator from the NE part of the lake/state.

  9. Superb. Loved it. Reminds you of the relative worldliness and ignorance level of Derplahomans.

    1. For sure as compared to Texas, Kansas, Florida, Iowa, etc. etc. etc. where only completely normal people are elected to government roles.

  10. As a rich white dude myself, we are always out of touch with the reality of everyday working people. Like Stitt-head, we cannot see the everyday struggle bc of the height of our walled off neighborhoods.

    Look, it’s simple, you take the money given to you and you help people that need it. That is how governments should work…local, state or federal. The “Tall One Who Knows Nothing” is a shining example of being stupid AF. It’s easy to say no when you’re rich. Hopefully, a one and done Governor.

  11. I am confused! Hard working Oklahomans out of work…struggling, and you give 36 million of Covid relief money to prisoners who deserve to be in jail because of the choices they’ve made. What a slap in the face to Oklahomans who had no choices in this pandemic losing their hard earned income, livelihood, and confidence in our own state to support them! Shame on you, Governor Stitt… and then pridefully say Oklahomans don’t need another stimulus check… is another kick in the face for those who stood shamelessly in long lines never receiving their unemployment benefits . That money could have been given to those who are struggling! My family is doing fine, blessed that my husband’s work was essential…. but to think that you have taken praise for curving a virus, but have left Your constituents hungry and begging is incomprehensible! My son, who has three children, gave every bit of his stimulus check away to struggling families in Ardmore…. He’s the kind of individual who needs to be making decisions that you’re called on to make, yet you debased hard working Oklahomans and good businesses for criminals! I am hostile this morning thinking I voted for you…. and was proud to do it at the time, but Now see you have no heart for our people? Not to mention your dispute with Native Americans who have shelled out money abundantly helping the Oklahomans…. shame on You!

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