5 things Galen Culver should cover on “Is This a Great State or What?”

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I need a break from all of the negativity in the news. That’s why I love to tune into KFOR’s “Is This a Great State or What?” program every now and again to cleanse my palette of the doom and gloom that is ever-present in the media and appreciate the perks and quirks that truly make this state great. Though they’re on the right track, I think the folks at KFOR have overlooked the best parts of Oklahoma. In fact, here are 5 things that should really be featured on KFOR’s “Is This a Great State or What?”

OKC’s Ranch Supply

My sister once ordered a side of ranch in a metro Thai restaurant. Try doing that in California.

The Plight of White Jesus

You know what’s uniquely great about Oklahoma? That the gun-toting, poor-despising, morality-legislating Caucasian Christ that our esteemed lawmakers seem to worship is found nowhere else in the world…let alone in the Bible.

Oklahomans Who Know What It Means to Truly Live Free

With the passing of Constitutional Carry and medical marijuana dispensaries scattered across the state, Oklahoman sure grants a lot of freedom to its people. And with an incarceration rate that is higher than any other COUNTRY in the world, more people in the state have 3 free hots and a cot than anywhere else, I guess.

The Nicest Hornets Around

Back in August, Oklahomans across the state were in a tizzy when large flying insects were spotted and mistaken for the infamous “murder hornets” that are plaguing 2020. Thankfully, wildlife officials have confirmed that the big, scary bugs are not murder hornets after all! They are just harmless cicada killers that paralyze their pray before laying eggs in its defenseless body so their young can feast on its flesh.

 

The Saving Grace of a Braums Bag of Burritos

Any given morning in Oklahoma, you are just 3 soccer mom Tahoes and $5.99 away from a sack of 5 half-assed wraps filled with egg and sausage that will wash away the sins of a night of drinking faster than any holy water could. And that’s what makes Oklahoma truly great.

No “or whats” here. Follow Hayley on twitter @squirrellygeek

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11 Responses


  1. its Galen


  2. Gotta love that white Hey Soos!


    1. With a name like Hey Soos, he must be brown. That isn’t our Caucasian Jesus.


    2. Hey I went to school with that guy at Moore , graduated in ’78 I think. Ronnie I believe.


  3. You must be miserable here…If i were that miserable and disgusted with a mass of people that appall me…I would think seriously about moving to a culture that fit my taste more.


    1. Satire is healthy.

      What’s it like to go through life with no sense of humor? Miserable?


    2. Besides the Lost Ogle You might read “The Onion.” I’m not quite sure where those poor guys would move?


      1. Maybe to the Soviet Onion.


    3. Hey Mike, what gun would Jesus own?


  4. Surely the only place on the planet/universe where Jim Inhofe could/would be elected–repeatedly.


  5. I’ve always had the sense to move away from places and people who I despise, I guess that’s what freedom is.

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