The closer it gets to 2021, the more it seems like society won’t make it past 2020. Thankfully, organizations like Providence Farms in Edmond are hosting gardening classes for kids to keep them busy while having fun prepare them for the fall of civilization by teaching survival skills. While gardening is important, there are other vital competencies our youth need to survive. In fact, here are 7 survival skills all Oklahoma kids should know!
Acquiring Food
The ability to find or grow your own food is an essential survival skill. While some organizations are hell-bent on teaching Oklahoma tots how to garden, we at TLO understand that vegetables aren’t within the food pyramid of our youth. So instead, kids should learn skills such as ranch dressing crafting and how to work a propane fryer.
–
First Aid
Basic first aid skills usually including dressing a wound, making a splint, and aftercare hygiene. But because Oklahoma is the second least insured state in the country in order to survive, kids should also learn basic surgical skills and take a pharmacology course or two.
–
Finding Shelter
Everyone romanticizes sleeping under the stars. That is, until the rain comes or you get a horde of June bugs burrowing in your hair. So, it’s important that kids know how to find shelter if they are going to survive in Oklahoma. While we don’t have a lot of caves or tall, sturdy trees to camp out under in the metro, kids can find dozens of abandoned doublewides if they’re brave enough to venture a couple miles out from the city’s limits. Speaking of venturing…
–
Navigation
When society inevitably collapses, we ain’t gonna have no fancy smart phones or MapQuest.com to navigate us out of a jam. Which is why it’s important that Oklahoma kids at least understand cardinal directions and can recognize Interstate signs. As long as they understand that I-40 goes East and West while 35 goes North and South, they’ll be out of Oklahoma in no time.
–
Hydration
FACT. Humans can only live 3-4 days without water. Which is why Oklahoma kids need to be educated on what kind of water is safe to drink. For example, make sure to explain to your children that just because chlorine dioxide tablets can purify water, it doesn’t mean that the chlorine-treated pools of White Water Bay are safe to drink.
–
Proper Clothing
It’s important that kids know what kind of clothes to collect that will help them survive a disaster. Being that Oklahoma weather can change on a dime, teach kids to dress in layers of camo or invest in a couple pairs of those wind pants that zip away at the knee. Hey kids! These pants put the “fun” in functional.
–
Self-Defense and Weapons Safety
A vital survival skill for Oklahoma kids should be self-defense and weapons safety. After you enroll your child in one of the dozens of Christian Karate classes in the metro, teach children how to use rubbing alcohol to keep their Super Soaker from gumming up and show them this NRA video on leaving guns the frick alone.
–
Hayley is a card-carrying lifetime Girl Scout. Follow her on twitter @squirrellygeek and become a contributing member of TLO here.
Wait, wait, wait. Is there a hidden June bug story? Must we wait on the movie/YouTube?
“[…] teach children to use rubbing alcohol to keep their Super Soaker from gumming up […].
That’s if you CAN FIND rubbing alcohol that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg during this global pandemic!
WTF!
Vodka works just as well, is cheaper, and has great side effects.
Navigation will be a huge problem in the apocalyptic post-pandemic world. GPS could stop working, and then what? Truckers, pilots, and Uber drivers will be lost, wandering aimlessly.
So let’s keep Jim Inhofe around as long as we can. Never having mastered the intricacies of GPS, he still knows how to navigate his plane the old-fashioned way – upside-down, following the roads below.
Trying to beat a ‘bash Oklahoma’ deadline?…There was less effort put into that ‘piece’ than the NRA put into their Eddie Eagle video.