Kevin Stitt announces $11-million “Oklahoma Center For Public Charter School Innovation and Excellence”

Just weeks after the Oklahoma State Board of Education demanded Epic Charter Schools repay $11-million it essentially stole from Oklahoma taxpayers, Governor Kevin Stitt announced today he plans to use the money – when and if it’s ever repaid – to create the Oklahoma Center For Online Charter School Success and Excellence.

According to a press conference at the Epic Charter school playground at Woodland Hills Mall, the center will be conveniently located in Stillwater next to the Oklahoma Center For Pandemic Innovation and Excellence.

Here’s a snippet of what Stitt had to say:

“Thanks to a generous pending donation from our friends at Epic Charter Schools, I’m proud to announce the creation of the Oklahoma Center For Public Charter School Innovation and Excellence…

This center will not only help make and keep Oklahoma a Top 10 State for public education and school choice, but by developing new, innovative ways for shady unethical profiteers to exploit loopholes and rip-off valuable taxpayer money that’s supposed to go to Oklahoma students, it well help grow and expand the Oklahoma economy.

Imagine that!

Stitt also announced he’s appointed Phyllis Shepherd – current member of the Statewide Virtual Charter School Board – as Executive Director of the facility. The aunt of Epic co-founder David Chaney, she comes to the board after a long career teaching and serving as an extra in Harry Potter movies:

According to Stitt, Ms. Shepherd, along with the help of her nephew, will look deep within their family tree, and Republican political circles, to find only the best and committed con artists, grifters and swindlers to staff the facility, and research new ways for the private sector to shamelessly steal from public education.


Anyway, I guess if you’re still reading this I should probably tell you this article is 100% satire. Well, maybe not 100%.

First of all, there’s a decent chance Stitt may like this idea and go with it. That’s scary. Second, the stuff about the State School Board demanding Epic repay $11-million after they reviewed the infamous State Auditors report is 100% true, as is the stuff about Epic co-swindler David Chaney being the nephew of the lady who serves on the Virtual School Board.

Also, Stitt did announce he wants to build an Oklahoma Center For Pandemic Innovation and Excellence in Stillwater, far away from any major interstate or airport. Imagine that.

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17 Responses

  1. Isn’t satire generally funny?

    1. It can be; the whole definition can be found on line. First definition:
      “the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.”

    2. All right – who gored Mike’s ox?

      When discussing an awful situation, you either laugh or you cry. Unlike Mike, I’d rather laugh. For example, I enjoy the late-night talk shows that make fun of President Trump’s antics although there is nothing objectively funny about his presidency at all.

  2. When did Uncle Fester start wearing a wig?

    1. Isn’t that one from the Phil Spector collection?

  3. Lot’s of epic failures coming home to roost these days.

    1. I see what you did there.

  4. In Stillwater? No shit! Is local yokel QANON mullet coach Mike Grungy gonna’ run it? He’d be perfect. Like Shitt, the both of em’ fester in the sewer of self-importance.

    1. Where, exactly, might one find this sewer? I might be up for just a quick dip.

      1. Just ask any egoistic dipshit.

  5. Rick James
    October 8, 2020 at 10:02 pm
    12 0 Rate This

    If everyone isn’t already aware, Stitt and his cronies are just funneling money to his buddies and those rich families up in the northeastern part of Oklahoma.

    I told everyone it’s coming. Stitt and his rich buddies are packing up and moving state government to Stillwater. Throw in the public health lab, and the millions of public welfare dollars going to the northeastern part of the state, and it’s pretty clear what is going on in our state government. #enrichingbuddies

    1. Sometimes I get the impression that GOP governance is a kleptocracy. Call me cynical.

      1. You’re cynical.

  6. Great article Patrick. It lets me continue to drift between political reality in Oklahoma and the Twilight Zone not ever knowing which is which.

  7. I thought Mary Fallin was bad, but this guy is a disgrace in the governor’s office.

  8. Next he’s going to announce the Kevin Stitt Award for the Outstanding Achievement in the field of Excellence.

  9. Our 15K a day ICUs are filling up with what could have been at worst cut by 30% by just mandating a 3$ mask while indoors at public places.
    Stitt, I thought at the least you were supposed to be a businessman? WTF?

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